Page 35 - Family Life Student Textbook

Study Section 7: A Good Marriage requires Good Communication

7.2 Connect
The only way a husband and wife are going to be able to really understand one another, and make
the necessary compromises together, is to have very good communication between them. The only
way a husband and wife are going to enjoy the kind of fellowship and intimacy God intended for
them, is to communicate deeply and transparently with one another.

Marriage counselors say, “Communication is the key to a good marriage.” And if you talk with couples that
have been married any length of time, they will agree. Let’s see why…

7.2 Objectives

1. The student should be able to describe what good communication between a husband and wife
really is.

2. The student should be able to assess and improve the level of communication between ourselves and our
mate.

3. The student should be able to describe what it means to be a good listener.

4. The student should be able to evaluate their nonverbal communication.

7.3 A Good Marriage requires Good Communication
A good marriage requires good communication between a husband and wife. God designed marriage
to function on good communication and fellowship. It is important to remember what we learned
about the importance of transparency and acceptance when we studied God's prescription for
marriage, and how a husband and wife are to become one flesh. In order for a husband and wife to
enjoy a healthy fellowship and intimacy, they will need to work hard to improve their communication
skills.

Levels of Communication:

People communicate at different levels of transparency. It is important that we understand these levels and
can accurately assess the level of our communication as husband and wife.

1. Cliché Level (non-sharing)

The first level of communication is called “Cliché”. This is a very
shallow conversation. It is the kind of conversation you would have
with a stranger on a bus. Perhaps you would talk about the weather or
some other conditions that everyone experiences. But most likely, you
would not share anything about yourself other than a few facts.

When a husband and wife communicate on this level, they are simply
saying things like “hi” and “how are you”? When the wife asks her
husband “how was your day?” he answers only with the word “fine.”
Neither person is sharing anything about themselves.
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