Page 61 - 4- Leading_from_Within
P. 61
people will be confident that your behavior will have positive
consequences for them. To trust someone means that you allow yourself to
take risks in what you share with them. Trust exists when we make
ourselves vulnerable to others whose subsequent behavior we cannot
control. When your thoughts and ideas are shot down or ridiculed, it
doesn't take long to realize that the climate is neither safe nor conducive to
making yourself vulnerable.
Therefore, for trust to happen, people must view each other as trustworthy.
The role of the person learning to trust someone is to take risks; the role of
the one being trusted is to be worthy of trust. When each party in this
relationship is good enough at his or her roles, a condition of trust results.
If either party falls down on the job, trust will disappear.
Trusting others is easy for those who believe that everyone is basically
"good." This type of person tends to trust everyone until specific
experiences prove some individuals not trustworthy. Others are much less
likely to trust anyone. They believe that all people are basically "bad" and
will behave in selfish ways that are bound to harm others if given the
opportunity. This type of person will distrust everyone until specific
experiences with an individual demonstrate that he or she is an exception.
Naturally, these mistrustful persons watch their words very carefully.
Since open communication is rare from them, they are difficult to work
with.
What happens when people do not trust each other? They will ignore,
disguise, and distort facts, ideas, conclusions, and feelings that they believe
will increase their vulnerability to others. Not surprisingly, the likelihood
of misunderstanding and misinterpretation will greatly increase.
How can a climate of trust be created? It must begin with you! You begin
by being open about your own mistakes and vulnerabilities. We have a
natural tendency not to admit our mistakes for fear that we will lose "face."
It is seen as a sign of weakness. But, experience shows that letting others
know that you are human is one of the best ways to enhance your
credibility. People tend to distrust those who give the appearance of being
infallible. It is not a good idea to reveal your every fault to those with
whom you are working, but it is recommended that you admit your
David Kolzow 61

