Page 64 - Lulu and Bob in Verbo City

Bob leafed through his book. “The title is Verklempt’s New
Addictionary. I wonder what that means. Let’s try a page at random.
Here’s ‘calamine’. I know what that is. But it says, ‘see “cadmium’.
Okay. That’s from Greek for ‘Theban earth’, which comes from
Cadmus. I’ll look that up. That’s interesting: he was the prince who
fought a dragon to the death, then sowed its teeth, from which
sprouted an army which fought itself until only five men survived,
the founders of Thebes. But what is the association with calamine?
Oh, I see: they are both found in zinc ore. Fascinating. And calamine
is a hemimorphite. Let me see what that is. Hmm. A crystalline
structure that is bilaterally asymmetrical. ‘Crystal’ itself is related to
words implying frozen, like ‘crust’. Well, that leads me back to—”
“Stop it, Bob! You are getting addicted to looking up entries in
that book. Mine doesn’t do that. It’s A Contradictionary for Everyday
Use. Whatever you look up, it gives you an argument against it. Listen
to this: ‘Dance (noun and verb): a good way to sprain your ankle, or
at the least to display your clumsiness and egotism. Leave it to the
professionals and take up another hobby.’ Or ‘Philosophy (noun):
endless disputation over meaningless definitions and unsupportable
assertions about anything not immediately obvious. Grown-ups
should avoid it like the plague.’ And here’s a good one: ‘Uncle: an
irresponsible male sibling of a conscientious parent, proof of the
whimsical nature of genetics. His advice may be profitably
disregarded.’ Hah!”
“Don’t get all worked up now, Lulu!” Bob headed for the door.
“We’ve got to run.”
“You’re right.” She closed the book. “Let’s not forget to send
Uncle Bunster a thank-you note—in code!”

The End

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