Page 35 - Unlikely Stories 3

Cyberceutics Deletes Obsessogens with Ping-a-Ding

education much easier to apply. Most, if not all, of my clients and
suppliers trust me simply because they confuse my name with a title. I
do not disabuse them of that error, nor should you.”
“That sounds dishonest already—as if running a cult weren’t
enough.”
The elder Barfuss shook his head. “I hope you will soon cease
using that pejorative term, Junior. One man’s cult is another’s salvation,
hope and cure. I am certain that I have helped myself—and you,
indirectly—by helping others.”
“That’s hard to swallow, Dad. If I believed my ethics professor, I
would have to spend the rest of my life working pro bono for the
helpless and wretched in order to offset my benefits from your tainted
remittances.”
“Oh, so you feel compromised?” The senior Doctor permitted
himself one snorting chuckle. Drinks appeared, and simultaneously
each Barfuss reached for one with his left hand. “Ha! A chip off the old
block. If I hadn’t had you vetted—everything short of a DNA test—
that would prove you’re my son.” They drank in silence, letting cool
liquid lower the overheated atmosphere. Despite the ocean breeze,
daytime temperatures and humidity in Costa Vendido could raise a
sweat on the calmest brow.
“All right.” The young man put down his glass with exaggerated
force. “You’d better give me a quick version of what you’re up to. The
next plane out of here leaves in four hours.”
Barfuss, Sr. sighed. “And I wouldn’t interfere if you wanted to go—
which is not to say a phone call to the right people wouldn’t make it
difficult for you to get past the door of the airport.”
His son looked pained. “Thanks for the mere suggestion of a threat,
Dad. Although I was born here I am no longer a citizen of this tax
haven: I’m an American, my flight is booked and the embassy knows
where I am.”
“Once again your intelligence has impressed me, Junior. I like you
more and more. Now to answer your request. Although the easiest way
to a fortune is to start a religion—or its equivalent—what it takes to do
that varies by time and place. Throughout most of history one man
could gather followers and convince them of the supernatural source of
his revelations purely on the strength of his charisma. How large and
influential that group became was largely the result of evolutionary

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