Page 290 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland
P. 290

Reason To Sing


          now be thinking about having a baby brother or sister for him.
          We have always planned on more than just one child. I try not
          to go any further in my mind. My poor heart just can’t take it
          tonight.
              I wonder how many other depressed people are going to
          bed this early. I try escaping into the pages of a book but I can’t
          retain one single sentence. I’ve done nothing all day but care
          for my boy, yet I haven’t one ounce of energy left to focus on
          what I’m reading.
              All is still until I hear the key in the door. My body quivers.
          I pull up the covers. He’s home. The clock radio says it’s 10:21.
          I hear the door close behind him and footsteps coming down
          the hall. He opens the bedroom door and without missing
          a beat, moves toward the foot of the bed. His voice fills the
          darkness. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
              I sit up and switch on the bedside light. My heart is in
          my throat. In milliseconds I prepare for the worst: is he finally
          going to tell me he’s leaving? That he still doesn’t love me? Or
          … or … that he’s gay? Heck, I don’t know. As crazy as it might
          sound, it has crossed my mind! Nothing would surprise me at
          this point.
              “Lenora and I have had an affair.”
              There it is. The words I have dreaded and yet always known
          would come. I am stunned into silence even while a nuclear
          bomb is going off in my brain. NOOOOOO, the voice in my
          head shrieks. I cannot hear anything else. This sound alone is
          crushing.
              Dead silence surrounds us. This is exactly how I feel. Dead.
          Oh Lord, come now. Send your angels.
              I remain speechless. Time does not move.
              A million thoughts vie for supremacy. I saw this coming,
          right? I had my suspicions. He denied it! She denied it! Am I


                                      276
   285   286   287   288   289   290   291   292   293   294   295