Page 290 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland
P. 290
Reason To Sing
now be thinking about having a baby brother or sister for him.
We have always planned on more than just one child. I try not
to go any further in my mind. My poor heart just can’t take it
tonight.
I wonder how many other depressed people are going to
bed this early. I try escaping into the pages of a book but I can’t
retain one single sentence. I’ve done nothing all day but care
for my boy, yet I haven’t one ounce of energy left to focus on
what I’m reading.
All is still until I hear the key in the door. My body quivers.
I pull up the covers. He’s home. The clock radio says it’s 10:21.
I hear the door close behind him and footsteps coming down
the hall. He opens the bedroom door and without missing
a beat, moves toward the foot of the bed. His voice fills the
darkness. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I sit up and switch on the bedside light. My heart is in
my throat. In milliseconds I prepare for the worst: is he finally
going to tell me he’s leaving? That he still doesn’t love me? Or
… or … that he’s gay? Heck, I don’t know. As crazy as it might
sound, it has crossed my mind! Nothing would surprise me at
this point.
“Lenora and I have had an affair.”
There it is. The words I have dreaded and yet always known
would come. I am stunned into silence even while a nuclear
bomb is going off in my brain. NOOOOOO, the voice in my
head shrieks. I cannot hear anything else. This sound alone is
crushing.
Dead silence surrounds us. This is exactly how I feel. Dead.
Oh Lord, come now. Send your angels.
I remain speechless. Time does not move.
A million thoughts vie for supremacy. I saw this coming,
right? I had my suspicions. He denied it! She denied it! Am I
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