Page 58 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland
P. 58

Reason To Sing




                                 Chapter Nine

                              Sweet Release




          We’ve been back home for a few weeks now. Home! Our real
          home on the ranch. I am lying in bed beside my little sister,
          staring up at the ceiling. The rustic lamp with the pink shade
          casts shadows on the wall.
              So much has happened to lead us back to our farm and here
          we are in our beautiful house. But it’s just a big empty shell.
          There is such a deep sadness. It should feel good to be back in
          our own beds. To be sitting around our kitchen table, eating
          breakfast. It should be fun to curl up on the fancy chesterfield,
          gazing out the big window counting the cars as they go by. But
          it doesn’t feel good at all. Nothing does. There are too many
          shattered pieces of our hearts scattered throughout every room.
          Sometimes my body feels so heavy I wonder that I can even
          move.
              Back in the city we could escape. Pretend. But not here.
          This is where the ‘accident’ took place. This is where Daddy’s
          remains were scraped and washed off the walls of our garage.
          This is where I am constantly reminded there will be no more
          threats. I don’t have to worry about those threats anymore.
          Because they came true.
              I remember him at every turn. His Ford pickup is in the
          driveway, collecting dust. His well-worn cowboy boots still at
          the back door. His old jean jacket hanging forlornly on the
          wall. Today I was brave enough to take it down. I held it close
          and I could still smell him. And I got so sad as I wondered
          how long it will take until this never-ending misery fades away.


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