Page 60 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Reason To Sing

here? Could I have been more caring or loving? Could I have
somehow stopped him?
The kind of pain I feel is impossible to describe. It’s like I’m
bleeding on the inside, but no one can see it. I suppose it’s like
when you break your arm. You can’t actually see where the bone
is broken but you can feel the pain. Then when the doctor looks
at the x-ray, he can see the broken bone. No one can see inside
my heart but I know if you were to take an x-ray of it and you
would see how broken it really is.
Morning comes again. I must have slept in because Vian
is already up. Still in my flannel nightie, I wander down the
hall to Mommy’s bedroom. I like being in her lilac room.
It’s her favourite colour. She loves everything lilac. Even her
bathroom sink and toilet are lilac. I feel safer being with her.
The sunshine is streaming through the large window that faces
the foothills. The warmth the sun makes promises a good day.
I love Mommy’s company, especially now. There is a closeness
between us that we never had before. She never talks about
the ‘accident.’ She just seems more relieved than heartbroken.
Besides, her heart has someone new.
“Mommy, will you ever get married again?” I boldly ask.
“No, Honey,” she reassures me. I am relieved to hear her
response. I have already lost one parent. I don’t want to lose
another. The clothes hamper is in her arms as she exits the
bedroom. “Why don’t you play the piano for a while. I need to
start the laundry.”
My mother did finally get me a piano a few years ago, and
I did love playing it. Except it was in the basement and you
know how much I hate basements! She has now moved it into
her beautiful bedroom which is so much better. Except I still
haven’t been playing much lately. I guess I’ve been too sad.
I plunk myself down on the padded bench and sit in the

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