Page 56 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland
P. 56

Reason To Sing


              Vian and I hold hands as we return to our mother. The
          wind is picking up. The air brisker, as the day begins to wane.
          Surely winter is on its way. I am so cold. Nervous. Weak. The
          chill of death pierces. I am paralyzed.  How will I ever walk
          again? Death, this death, icy and harsh, has the power to suck
          the life out of my very being.
              After the excruciatingly long drive back to the church we
          gather in the basement for the luncheon provided by the church
          ladies. Little crustless triangle white bread sandwiches filled
          with egg salad, tuna and that funny luncheon meat spread, with
          bits of pickle. Trays of celery, carrots and sweet mixed pickles
          - the ones with the bright yellow cauliflower that don’t taste
          anything like cauliflower. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
          It’s just an old church basement - the one where I attended
          Sunday school and learned the stories of the Bible and where
          I made my acting debut – but the coffee makes it feel warm
          and welcoming.  There are plenty of homemade sweets laid
          out on heavy crystal plates. Lots of brownies, Nanaimo bars,
          lemon squares and my very favorite - butter tarts with walnuts.
          Normally I would dive right in but today I am without an
          appetite.
              I stand close by Mommy’s side as the crowd begins to thin.
          I notice a very tall, dark, clean-cut man, coming from the other
          side of the room. I know he is someone from Daddy’s side.
          I think he is a cousin who has traveled from the States for
          the funeral. I can almost read my mother’s mind. I know what
          she must be thinking. How nice, somebody from Ivan’s side of the
          family is finally going to come over and talk to me.
              She smiles and offers her hand. Before she can utter his
          name, he abruptly cuts her off. “Vilda, I hope you rot in hell!”
          Then he turns and walks away.
              I am mortified for my poor Mommy. Afraid she might


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