Page 168 - My FlipBook

and Gnurdleigh doubled over in mind-blowing pain. Then it
happened. Somehow, the alterations made to the XTC when
Sexpot removed some material to replace the dental fillings of
Trash and Steve, not to mention the extra ‘family jewel’ she

gave each, changed the operation of the ‘Psychic
Communicator’ just enough so that it still transmitted his
fantasies to everyone sprayed with the proper perfume,
however, it also transmitted the experience of every orgasm
everywhere in the universe in its entirety directly to
Gnurdleigh’s scrotum. What would be one second within his
infinitely fast spinning spaceship is a million years on the
outside. Take a deep breath. Imagine the billions of people
who are climaxing right now throughout the entire cosmos.

Multiply that number by sixty times an hour, times twenty-four
hours a day, times three-hundred-sixty-five times a year, times
a million years, and that is the cumulative ecstasy Gnurdleigh
feels every single second. It was the supreme enlightenment,
OMG. Instantly Gnurdleigh was enlightened and began
transmitting enlightenment back to the cosmos. No longer did
anyone feel sexual fantasies coming from him, only inner peace

and tranquility, wisdom and sexual exhaustion.

Every ten-thousand years or so, some Drunk Monk gets so
pissed that he is stuck somewhere between consciousness and
blotto at exactly the right place and time. For inexplicable
reasons, the mind of Gnurdleigh can speak to them when they
are in just such a state. To him, it is still the first second since
his enlightenment so this is happening quite quickly. He tells of

158 BeerQuest