Page 52 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1

childhood. To tell the truth, I realized that I didn’t know what it was to be loved until I
found healing for the issues I had been running from all of my life. Healing comes when we
stop running from the truth.

For years, whenever emotional issues came up in my mind, I would block them out and let a
wave of quiet anger be my fuel. Then one day, I was looking out the window, and I heard
something within me say, “Are you ready?”

The question caught me off guard. I could not camouflage my emotions or divert my
attention, as I usually did. This time, something in me knew it was time to deal with the
emotions that I had been running away from and blocking since I was 12. Just the thought
of dealing with my true emotions was so overwhelming that I immediately began to cry, but
I knew it was either deal with them, grow and see what else life had in store for me, or stay
where I was emotionally and continue to be secretly miserable. I decided to grow.

After I finished crying, I went to the bathroom mirror and looked myself in the eye. It was
enlightening to realize how much I did not like myself. I realized this because I could not
look myself in the eye without thinking negative thoughts about myself. I was thinking
about how ugly I was, and I kept thinking about my imperfections, to the point where I
didn’t want to look at myself. This all took place very quickly, within a matter of minutes.

But I got ahold of myself, looked myself in the eye and allowed all the negative thoughts
to flow through my mind. When the negative thoughts eased, I heard me tell myself for
the first time ever, “I love you.’’ And oh my God, how the tears of joy started to flow.
There was something about telling myself that I love me; that was life-altering. The
negative thoughts were still flowing, but they were drowned out by the thoughts that were
bury underneath them that were repressed because I never faced myself. Those thoughts
were now flowing freely. Now, when the negative thoughts came, with each thought, I told
myself, “I know, but I love you anyway.” The last thing I said to myself was, “I love you,
all of you, the good and the bad. I love you.” I accepted myself totally for the first time in
my life.

I have never been the same since that experience in my bathroom mirror. It has altered my
life, the way I see the spiritual side of my life, and my perspective on the role a loving God
plays in our life. My life has been enriched because of the balance and harmony I now have
between my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual sides.

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