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If you find that you are in an abusive relationship, leave and do not go back! If you want to
be with the person, they have a lot of work to do before they can be trusted with your life.
Do not go back to them. Even if they get help and have been involved in this help for a
substantial period of time and see significant change, be very careful how you proceed with
them. You cannot be sure if it is safe.

It is true that some abuse issues can be corrected when the abusive person admits to the
behavior and takes the initiative and the necessary steps to correct it. However, you can
lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. So if you got away from an abusive
person who will not admit, or even acknowledge, their abusive behavior, and they only
show remorse when you want to leave or tell on them, run as fast as you can and stay away
from them. You cannot save them; they have to save themselves.

While you may have strong feelings for them, you may have to consider starting your life
all over again with nothing in order to get yourself to a healthy place.

So be very careful about the type of person with whom you decide to begin a relationship.
Get to know the person’s habits, virtues, morals, principles, ethics, temperament, tolerance
levels, manner of communicating, and more before attaching yourself to them.

Relationships, Separation, and Divorce

Finally, after you have tried the suggestions in the handbook, also consider this. If you find
you are in a relationship with someone who is not abusive but does not work or try to meet
your needs, you may have to consider the level of importance this relationship holds to
you. You only get one life. You cannot come back after you die and experience the things
you want to experience but didn’t because others were not on the same page as you.

People stay in dysfunctional relationships thinking things will get better and end up leaving
years later because nothing had changed. I am not advocating for break-ups or divorce, but
the reality is that sometimes we get into relationships for the wrong reasons, with the
wrong person, or at a time when we were not mature enough to make good choices.
Whatever the case may be, if you find that you have given that person every opportunity to
help you build a healthy relationship, but to no avail, then it is your call.

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