Page 69 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1

Take the time to seriously evaluate the impact that staying in an unhealthy relationship has
on your personal growth and quality of life. You came into this world alone, and you will
leave it alone. What happens in between is entirely up to you.

Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness, and do not be responsible for
anyone else’s happiness either. You are there to meet your mate’s needs, but they decide
what their needs are. You and only you decide what yours are. If meeting your reasonable
needs does not make your partner happy, then maybe they are not the right person for you.

As much as I do not want to admit this, sometimes you will have to separate from your
partner. There are times when a separation is the only way to get them to realize that you
seriously mean business. If you do not take your happiness seriously, no one else will.

Sometimes it takes separation for your mate to wake up and help out. But there are times
when even a separation does not change anything. The point is, there comes a time when
you have to decide if the time you have spent trying to create a healthy bond and
relationship is worth investing any more time. When you decide to separate, be careful
about being sucked back in because of promises to change.

If your partner promises to change, they may just be saying that because they do not want
you to leave, and that is okay. But what is not okay is if they say they will change but
actually have not yet realized what they need to do to make things better. If your mate says
they want to stay together and try to work things out, let them take the lead in building a
healthy relationship with you. It is time for them to grow.

If you want the relationship to work, you will have to let them take steps on their own to
grow and show they want the relationship too. Let them take the initiative to learn what
they need to know about building a healthy relationship.

People in relationships, especially marriages, have a tendency to get into a comfort zone
and let their partner do all the work in an important area. Do not do this. Do not let this
happen to you.

Tell your partner that you will work with them but that you will no longer take the lead in
coming up with the solutions for what they need to do to build up the relationship. If they
want the relationship to work, they will have to get you interested and involved in building
with them again because you want to separate.

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