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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 5 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:25 | SR:-- | Cyan 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 5 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:25 | SR:-- | Magenta 280818_efi-ab - 280818
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 5 - Lesson 1 ג רמאמ - י ֶֶי ֶמ ֲח ר ִר ִׁ
of every law in all four sections of Shulchan Aruch, but when a הּ ָל ַחי ֶנּ ַה ְל ר ֶָ ְפ ִא ְו ,םי ֶפ ָס ְכּ לוּה ֶנ י ֵנְי ְנ ֶע ְבּ ה ָאי ֶר ְבּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ִֶ שֵׁי
question of law does occur the husband must research it and resolve
it directly from the sources, or he should go and ask a posek and ,ם ִה ָבּ ה ָאי ֶר ְבּ הּ ָני ֵא ִֶ ֵֶי ְו .ה ִמּדּ ַכ ְו ר ְנ ַבּ ַה פּבּ ְֶ ִח ְו ם ָלוּה ֶנ ת ִא
present to his wife a clear and unambiguous answer to the question. .ל ַע ַבּ ַה ל ַע םי ֶל ָטּ ֻמ ה ִלּ ֵא םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ז ָא ְו ,ךְ ָכ ְל ת ִר ִֶ ְכ ֻמ הּ ָני ֵא ּא
In general the Avreich must know that he must dedicate time to
learn laws, particularly those laws that relate to family life (his wife ל ָטּ ֻמ תּא ָו ְל ַה י ֵדְי ל ַע ץ ַח ַל י ֵנּ ַמ ְז ֶבּ בי ֶצ ְר ַתּ ַה פוּזּ ֶא ,םי ֶנ ָׁ ל ָכּ ל ַע
has already learned some of them in the course of her studies in .לי ֵע ְל רוּמ ָא ָכּ ,ל ַע ַבּ ַה ל ַע
seminary). He must also be somewhat familiar with some of the
laws of the Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De’Ah so that at the very least he
knows when to bring his question to a Talmid Chacham to decide.
There are some men whose nature is to remain in a state of
uncertainty and because of that they always look for stringencies. .ג רמאמ
That behavior has no place in the home. In the home the husband
must be the Rav, the final authority who decides matters with clear, תוּיּ ִנ ָחוּר ַעי ִפּ ְשׁ ַה ְל ה ָבוֹח ַה
rational decisions. Moreover, he may not consistently render a strict
judgment to others at the expense of others at a time when it is not
necessary according to the halacha. Also, the Gaon Rabbi Yisrael
Salanter said regarding beautifying and enhancing a mitzvah that תי ֵבּ ֶמ ,םי ֶנֶּ תּרּר ְמּ ֶמ תוּיּ ֶנ ָחוּר ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ה ָר ְנָי ָהי ִאוּשּׂ ֶנ דַע
“It is forbidden to enhance the mitzvot at the expense of others.” ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ אי ֶה ת ֵע ָכּ .בֹר ֲעַי תי ֵבּ ר ָני ֶמ ִס ְבּ םי ֶגוּח ְו םי ֶרוּע ֶֶ , ָהי ֶב ָא
This rule certainly applies to a man’s wife. In any event halachic
stringencies and enhancements should always be weighed correctly. .י ֶנ ָחוּר ָה פּז ָמּ ַה ת ִא הּ ָל רי ֶנ ֲעַי ,תֶי ַבּ ַה ַחוּר ת ִא פ ֵוּ ַכ ְמּ ַה ,הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ִֶ
ם ַגּ , ָהי ִכ ָר ְצ ל ָכּ ת ִא הּ ָל ת ֵת ָל - "ר ֵא ְֶ" בוּיּ ֶח ְבּ לוּל ָכּ ה ִז ם ַגּ
We see that even women who possess an important standing
because of their profession - for example, she is a senior teacher or ה ָבּח לוּמ תוּנ ָס ְסּ ַה ְבּ םי ֶמ ָע ְפ ֶל ד ֵמּע ךְ ֵר ְב ַא ָה .םיֶיּ ֶנ ָחוּר ָה
the principle of a girl’s yeshiva - also want their husbands to take ּא פ" ַבּ ְמ ַר ָבּ ,י ֶר ָזוּכּ ַבּ םי ֶר ָר ְׁ ר ֵתּי ה ָד ְמ ָל ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ִֶ פ ֵכ ָתֶּי .ּז
charge of the conduct of their home, and they want to be “kosher”
wives who do the will of their husbands. As we have said, this is רוּס ָע י ֵר ֲה י ֶכּ ,דֹמ ְל ֶל רי ֶׁ ְס ֶה אוּה ִשּׁ ה ַמּ ֶמ ,וּהָיּ ֶל ֵא ֵמ ב ָתּ ְכ ֶמ ְבּ
embedded in the nature of a woman, and the husband must give her ת ַע ַדּי ּתּ ְֶ ֶא !ה ָג ָא ְדּ ל ַא . ָהי ִֶ ְר ָפ ְמוּ א ָר ָמ ְגּ ַבּ ּבּ ֻר ְו ֶּאֹר אוּה
the ability to do this.
.ה ָבי ְֶֶי פ ִבּ ,ה ָרּתּ פ ִבּ וּה ַמ ָהי ִכ ְנּ ַח ְמ הּ ָל וֶּי ֶגּ ְד ֶה ְו וּר ְמ ָא ְו ,תאֹז
ת ִא הּ ָל פ ֵתֶּי ם ָכ ָח די ֶמ ְל ַתּ רּת ְבּ אוּה ִֶ ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ אי ֶה תאֹז ל ָכ ְבּ
בּט פּצ ָר ְבוּ ץ ָמ ֲא ַמ ט ַע ְמ ֶבּ .ּל ה ָרוּר ְז אי ֶה ִֶ י ֶנ ָחוּר ָה פּז ָמּ ַה
ה ָפ ָר ְֶ ַה ַה ְו ר ָסוּמּ ַה י ֵר ְפ ֶס ךְּתּ ֶמ רֹח ְב ֶל ךְ ֵר ְב ַא ְל ה ִֶ ְרֶי אלֹ
פ ֵנּכּ ְת ֶה ְלוּ ,פ ַמ ְז ֶל פ ַמ ְזּ ֶמ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ם ֶע דֹמ ְל ֶל םי ֶא ְת ַמּ ַה ר ִפ ֵסּ ַה ת ִא
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