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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 5 - Lesson 3 א רמאמ - י ֶֶי ֶמ ֲח ר ִר ִׁ

Sometimes the wife is more expert than her husband in financial ֶוּר ָדּ אלֹ .א ָר ְמוּח ְל ג ֵה ַנ ְת ֶנ ר ֵפ ָס ת ַמ ֲח ֵמּ ִֶ הּ ָל ר ַמּל ְו ,ה ָכ ָל ֲה
matters and it is possible to leave to her the money management
of the household expenses, and taking care of the bank statements ךְ ַא ,ךְוּר ָע פ ָח ְל ֻשּׁ ַה י ֵר ְל ִח ל ָכ ְבּ ה ָרוּר ְבּ ה ָכ ָל ֲה ע ַדֵיּ ִֶ וּנּ ִמּ ֶמ
and the like. Or there are instances where the wife is not expert or ,תּרּר ְמּ ַה ךְּתּ ֶמ הּ ָתּא ר ֵר ָבְי אוּה - ה ָל ֵא ְֶ ת ִר ִרּע ְת ֶמ ר ִֶ ֲא ַכּ
talented in these matters, and in those cases those matters become
the responsibility of the husband. In any event, at times when there ל ָל ְכ ֶבּ .רוּר ָבּ ר ָס ְׁ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל אי ֶבָי ְו ,ה ָא ָרּה ה ֵרּמ לֹא ְֶ ֶל ךְ ֵלֵי ּא
is financial pressure and additional money is required to balance ,תּכ ָל ֲה דוּמּ ֶל ְל פ ַמ ְז ֶי ֶדּ ְר ַה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ אוּה ִֶ ת ַע ַד ָל ךְ ֵר ְב ַא ָה ל ַע
the household budget, obtaining a loan is the responsibility of the
husband, as we said this earlier. פ ָתּא ה ָד ְמ ָל ּתּ ְֶ ֶא פ ָר ְל ִח ְבּ( תֶי ַבּ ַל תּע ְגּנּ ַה ה ִלּ ֵא ְל דוּחֶי ְבּ
תּכ ְל ֶה ת ָצ ְר ם ַגּ ת ַע ַד ָל וי ָל ָע .)ר ָני ֶמ ִסּ ַבּ ָהי ִדוּמּ ֶל ת ִר ִגּ ְס ֶמ ְבּ
.ם ָכ ָח ת ַל ֵא ְֶ לֹא ְֶ ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ י ַת ָמ ע ַדֵי תּח ָפ ְלּ ִֶ י ֵד ְכּ ,ה ָע ֵדּ ה ִרּי


ם ֵה ךְ ָכּ םוּשּׁ ֶמוּ ,ר ֵפ ָס ְבּ די ֶמ ָתּ םי ֶר ָא ְֶ ֶנ ם ָע ְב ֶטּ ֶמּ ִֶ םי ֶֶ ָנ ֲא שֵׁי
Chapter 5 - Lesson 3 הֹׁ .תֶי ַבּ ַבּ הּ ָמּר ְמ פי ֵא ּז תוּג ֲה ַנ ְת ֶה .תּר ְמוּח ַה ת ִא םי ֶשׂ ְׁ ַח ְמ

פי ֵא ם ַגּ .םי ֶרוּר ְבּ םי ֶר ָס ְׁ ר ֵסּׁ ַה ב ַר ָה תּי ְה ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ ל ַע ַבּ ַה
The obligation of a husband to influence and guide פי ֵא ִֶ םּר ָמ ְבּ ,םי ֶר ֵח ֲא פּבּ ְֶ ִח ל ַע אלֹ ְו ,םי ֶר ֵח ֲא ַל רי ֶמ ְח ַה ְל
the spiritual values of his family.
:ל" ַצ ַז ס"ירגה ר ַמ ָא םי ֶרוּדּ ֶה ל ַע ם ַגּ .ה ָכ ָל ֲה י ֶׁ ל ַע ַח ֵר ְכ ִה
י ֵׁ ַל ְכּ יא ַדּ ַו ְבּ ג ֵהּנ ה ִז ל ָל ְכּ ."ת ַלוּזּ ַה פּבּ ְֶ ִח ל ַע ר ֵדּ ַה ְל רוּס ָא"
Prior to her marriage the wife absorbed her spirituality from a
number of different places; from her father’s house, from lectures ת ַע ַדּ לוּקּ ֶֶ םי ֶֶ ְרּדּ םי ֶרוּדּ ֶה ְו תּר ְמוּח ,םי ֶנ ָׁ ל ָכּ ל ַע .ּתּ ְֶ ֶא
and from study groups in Beit Yaakov seminary. Now she looks to .פּכ ָנ
her husband to set the direction of the family in the ways of Torah
and to provide her with her spiritual sustenance. All this is included ,פ ָעּצ ְר ֶמ ת ַמ ֲח ֵמ ה ָבוֶּ ֲח ה ָד ְמ ִע תּל ֲע ַבּ םי ֶֶ ָנ ם ַגּ ִֶ םי ֶאּר וּנָא
within the Torah’s category of “She’er” - to give her all of her needs,
including her spiritual needs. On occasion the young husband is פ ָתי ֵב ְבּ ִֶ תּצּר ,ר ִפ ֵס י ֵתּ ָבּ תּל ֲה ַנ ְמ ּא תּרי ֶכ ְבּ תּרּמ פּג ְכּ
indecisive when confronted by this obligation. It is possible that
his wife studied more chapters than he did in the Kuzari, in the תּר ֵֶ ְכּ םי ֶֶ ָנ תּי ְה ֶל תּצּר פ ֵה ְו ,תֶי ַבּ ַה ת ִא גי ֶה ְנ ַמ ל ַע ַבּ ַה הִי ְהֶי
Ramban and in the Michtav M’Eliyahu, since he is fully immersed ה ָב ָה .ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ע ַב ִט ְבּ ַעוּב ָט ה ִז ,רוּמ ָא ָכּ .פ ִהי ֵל ֲע ַבּ פּצ ְר תּשּׂע ָה
in the study of the Gemara and its commentaries. Chatan – Do .ךְ ָכ ְל תוּר ֶָ ְפ ִא ָה ת ִא הּ ָל פ ֵתּ ֶנ
not worry about this; your wife knows that, and her teachers have
said and emphasized to her what a Ben Torah is and what a Ben
yeshiva is. With all of this she hopes that he will be at the level of a 
Talmid Chacham who will provide her with the spiritual “food” she
needs. With a little effort and a good attitude it will not be difficult

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