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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Conclusion - Part 2 ג רלח - םוּיּ ֶס
י ֵנ ְפ ֶל וּני ֶב ָא בֹר ֲעַי וּלּ ֶפ ֲא :פא ָכּ ֶמ םי ֶד ְמּל וּנ ָא לּד ָגּ לָלְכּ

י ֶהּז( ה ִזּ ַה ם ָלּע י ֵנְי ְנ ֶע ֵמ י ֵר ְמ ַג ְל ר ָתּ ֻנ ְמ הָי ָה ר ִֶ ֲא ַכּ ,ּת ָרי ֶט ְׁ
Part 2.
- ףוּגּ ּל ֵֶי דּע ל ָכּ ,)פ ִרֹזּ ֶמ וּד ְב ָכּ וי ָני ֵע ִֶ תי ֶמי ֶנ ְׁ ַה ה ָבּ ֶסּ ַה
הִי ְה ֶתּ ֶ ִפ ִנּ ַה תוּר ֵב ְדּ ִֶ י ֵד ְכּ ,ףוּגּ ַה ת ִא ם ַגּ ף ֵתּ ֶַ ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ אוּה
A pleasant atmosphere in the home defuses
problems. ,תּג ֵר ְד ַמּ ַה ל ָכ ְבּ ת ַח ַא ה ָבי ֶט ֲח םי ֶוּ ַה ְמ ֶ ִפ ִנ ָו ףוּגּ י ֶכּ ,ת ִמ ִל ְֶ ֻמ

.ֶ ִפ ִנּ ַה תוּר ֵב ְד ֶבּ פּר ָסּ ֶח ְבּ א ֵטּ ַבּ ְת ֶמ ףוּגּ ַה תוּר ֵב ְדּ פּר ְס ִח ְו
A Ben Torah measures his time against the yardstick of learning
Torah. On occasion it seems to him that he is spending too much of בֹר ֲעַיּ ִֶ ף ֵסּי ל ִֶ ּתוּל ְדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ת ִא ם ַגּ ךְ ָכּ רי ֶבּ ְס ַמ וֹנרְוֹפְסַּה
his precious time in ordinary conversation with his wife, paying too
much attention to her and helping her in the house. First – We’ve ל ֵכּ ֶשּׂ ִֶ בֹר ֲעַי ל ִֶ ּת ָבוּג ְתּ ת ִא ְו ,ה ִשּׁ ַנ ְמ ל ַע ּני ֶמְי דַי םיֹ ֶשָי
already said earlier in this essay that a mitzvah that cannot be done ךְ ֵר ָב ְל ה ִצּר בֹר ֲעַי ם ֶא ,פי ֶב ָה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ פא ָכּ ם ַגּ י ֵר ֲה .וי ָדָי ת ִא
by anyone else takes precedence over his Torah learning. All of
these things are the responsibility of the husband. Second – These .ּת ָכּ ְר ֶבּ ת ַנ ָוּ ַכ ְבּ יוּטּ ֶבּ ה ִז ָל פ ֵתֶּי - ה ִשּׁ ַנ ְמּ ֶמ ר ֵתּי םֶי ַר ְפ ִא ת ִא
things are a worthwhile investment for the sake of furthering his ,םֶי ַר ְפ ִא ל ַע ּני ֶמְי דַי ת ִא א ָר ְו ַדּ םיֹ ֶש ָל ה ִז לי ֶב ְֶ ֶבּ ךְי ֶר ָצ ה ָמּ ָל
Torah-learning. If a pleasant atmosphere permeates the home he ם ָנ ְמ ָא י ֶכּ" :]ח"י ם ֶָ[ ּנ ְרּפ ְסּ ַה פֶּ ְל ה ִז ְו .וי ָדָי ת ִא ל ֵכּ ַשׂ ְלוּ
will be better able to concentrate on his learning and his wife will
happily give him the opportunities to devote himself to learning פי ֶמָיּ ַה ַחֹכ ְו ...וי ָל ָע ךְ ַמ ְס ֶנּ ִשּׁ ה ַמ ל ִא ֶ ִפ ִנּ ַה פ ֵוּ ַכ ְתּ - דָיּ ַבּ ה ָכי ֶמ ְסּ ַה
and free him from his household chores. But if he fills the house ה ַמּ ֶמ ,פי ֶמָיּ ַה ל ִא פי ֶמָיּ ַה ת ַכי ֶמ ְס ר ֵתּי פ ֵוּ ַכ ְתוּ ,לאֹמ ְשּׂ ַה ַחֹכּ ֶמ ר ָז ָח
with an atmosphere of tension that will greatly disturb the calm
serenity of the household which is needed by him to study Torah וּלּ ֶפ ֲא !א ָל ְפ ֶנ ."לאֹמ ְשּׂ ַה ל ִא לאֹמ ְשּׂ ַה ת ַכי ֶמ ְס הּ ָתּא פ ֵוּ ַכ ְתּ ִשּׁ
and the family will demand an even greater amount of his time to א ֵטּ ַבּ ְת ֶמ לאֹמ ְשׂ דַי ת ַכי ֶמ ְס ֶל פי ֶמָי דַי ת ַכי ֶמ ְס פי ֵבּ פ ָט ָר ֶ ֵר ְפ ִה
defuse the tension in the house. His job is to create in his house a
constant atmosphere that is comfortable and pleasant. That is the .ּת ָרי ֶט ְׁ י ֵנ ְפ ֶל וּני ֶב ָא בֹר ֲעַי ל ִצ ֵא וּלּ ֶפ ֲא ַו ,ֶ ִפ ִנּ ַה ת ַנ ָוּ ַכ ְבּ
definition of “Shalom Bayit,” a perfect household. (Shalom – which
is an expression of perfection \ תומילש. A household where there is ֵֶיּ ִֶ ,ּפוּג ְבּ ד ִס ִח ל ִֶ תּיּ ֻר ֶָ ְפ ִא ָל ב ָא פַי ְנ ֶבּ דֹמ ְל ֶל ל ַכוּנ ןאָכִּמ
no fighting is still not a household that is truly at peace within itself.
Rather, Shalom Bayit is a household dominated by an atmosphere ,תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ֶה ַה תוּל ְדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצּ ִֶ" ,ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל ֶי ֶא פי ֵבּ ר ַר
of friendship and affection). א"ּז ֲח ַה פ ָר ָמ פֶּ ְל ֶכּ "ד ָח ִא רֹ ָש ָב ְל וּי ָה ְו :ה ָרי ֶצְי ַה ת ַנ ָוּ ַכּ ּזּ ִֶ
This is what Chazal taught us (in Gemara Sanhedrin 7a) “When .ּב ָתּ ְכ ֶמ ְבּ
our love was strong…” (Rashi: When the love between me and my
wife was intense) “We could sleep together on the edge of a knife.” :וּר ְמ ָא ִֶ ּמ ְכּ ,םי ֶמ ֲח ַר ֶ ֵקּ ַב ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ ְו" :ּב ָתּ ְכ ֶמ םוּיּ ֶס ְֶבּ םֵיַּסְנ
(Rashi: The two of us could sleep together on the width of a knife).
Now that our love is not intense we could not sleep together even ה ִז רוּס ָׁ ל ַע ."ךָי ִתּח ְר ָא ר ֵשַּׁיְי אוּה ְו וּה ֵע ָד ךָי ִכ ָר ְדּ ל ָכ ְבּ"

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