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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander
A Peaceful Home
Chapter 1 - Lesson 3
though he himself is the poor man? It is enough for him to know
that the poor man is in need of a loan! Rather, the Torah is teaching
us a basic lesson in dispensing Chessed; the lender is only able to
relate to the poor man appropriately and completely if he delves
into the depths of this poor man’s soul and feels the needs of the
poor man as though they are his own needs. That being so, then in
our topic we can make a simple logical deduction; the poor man is
molded from the same form as the rich man except that their tests
are different. This one has money and this one does not have money
and is in need of the rich man’s Chessed, and the Torah says that the
rich man must enter into the soul of the poor man, Then all the more
so it is incumbent on the husband to recognize the character of his
wife’s soul, who she is in her essence, and what affects her - as her
qualities are fundamentally different than his both in her being and
in her personality - in order that he will be able to extend Chessed
to her timely based on her needs.
Come and let’s learn what those differences are between a man
and a woman. These differences in their personality and character
emerge from their individual purpose, each one different than the
other. HaKadosh Baruch Hu matches up each person with the
qualities he will need according to the life’s-goal that He assigned
to him, in order that he will be able to satisfy that need effectively.

Chapter 1 - Lesson 3
My wife (is) my home.
The job of a wife is to oversee her home and take care of the needs
and wellbeing of her family. Rebbe Yossi says (Gemara Shabbat
113b) “Throughout my life never once did I call my wife – My wife
- rather, I called her ‘My home’.” He understood the importance of
a wife in the fulfillment of her life’s task as attending to the needs of
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רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
ז רמאמ - פֶּא ֶר ר ִר ִׁ
ֵֶי .ל ַע ַבּ ַה תּנוּכ ְתּ ת ִא ה ָמי ֶל ְֶ ַמוּ ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ ר ִז ֵע אי ֶה ּז ה ָנוּכ ְת ֶבּ םַגּ
,ת ַח ַל ְצ ֻמ ְכּ הּ ָתוּל ָל ְכ ֶבּ תי ֵא ְר ֶנּ ִֶ ,ה ָלּד ְגּ תי ֶנ ְכ ָתּ פ ֵנ ְכ ַת ְמ ל ַע ַבּ ַה ִֶ
,םיֶיּ ֶשׂ ֲע ַמּ ַה םי ֶנּ ַט ְקּ ַה םי ֶט ָר ְׁ ַה ל ִא הּ ָט ָבּ ַמ ְבּ ת ִר ִדּח ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ם ָלוּא
ל ַע .תי ֶנ ְכ ָתּ ַה ל ִֶ םי ֶֶ ָלּ ַח ַה םי ֶד ָד ְצּ ַה ת ִא ה ָלּ ַג ְמ ה ִז י ֵדְי ל ַע ְו
ה ָשּׁ ֶא ּל פי ֵא ִֶ ם ָד ָא ל ָכּ" :]ב"ע ב"ס תּמ ָבְי[ ל" ַז ַר וּר ְמ ָא ה ִז פּג ְכּ
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ה ִמּדּ . "'ר ִב ָגּ ב ֵבּס ְתּ ה ָב ֵר ְנ' בי ֶת ְכ ֶדּ ,ה ָמּח אלֹ ְבּ ...יוּר ֶָ
אי ֶה ה ִז ָבּ א ָר ְו ַדּ ם ָלוּא ,י ַדּ ֶמ תי ֶנוּנ ְט ַר םי ֶמ ָע ְפ ֶל ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ִֶ י ַלוּא
.םי ֶנּ ַט ְקּ ַה םי ֶט ָר ְׁ ַה ל ַע ת ִג ִלּ ַד ְמ הּ ָני ֵא י ֶכּ ,הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ל ַע ת ִר ִמֶּ
ֶי ֶח ָל ְו פי ֶח ָגּ ה ָצוּגּ ךְ ָת ְתּ ֶא" :]א"ע ט"נ א ָעי ֶצ ְמ א ָב ָבּ[ ל" ַז ַר וּר ְמ ָא
.הּ ָתּ ֶא ץ ֵעַי ְת ֶת - תי ֶנוּנ ְט ַר ךָ ְל תי ֵא ְר ֶנּ ִֶ ְכּ ם ַגּ - "הּ ַל
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י ֵׁ ַל ְכּ תּבּ ֶס ְנּ ַה ְו םי ֶב ָצּ ַמּ ַה ל ָכ ְבּ ס ֵחַי ְת ֶה ְלוּ ג ֵה ַנ ְת ֶה ְל י ֵד ְכּ :םוּכִּסְל
- "ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ ר ִז ֵע" ת ֶַ ָר ָׁ ת ִא דֹמ ְל ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,פּכ ָנ פ ִפֹא ְבּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה
ל ַא .ר ִז ֵע ְל וּנ ָל אי ֶה י ֶנֹשּׁ ַה י ֵדְי ל ַע ִֶ ת ַע ַד ָל ְו ,ה ָנֶּ אי ֶה ה ִמּ ַבּ
,ּבּ ב ֵשּׁ ַח ְת ֶנ - ךְ ִפ ִה ְל א ָלּ ִא ,ה ִנּשּׁ ַה הָּי ְפ ָא ת ִא תּנּ ֶַ ְל ה ִסּ ַנ ְנ
.ר ִז ֵע ָה ת ַכּ ְר ֶבּ ת ִא ּבּ ה ִא ְר ֶנ ְו
.פ ָת ָח ִה ת ִא ת ִב ִבּס ְמ ה ָלּ ַכּ ַה ִֶ ג ָה ְנ ֶמּ ַה ַע ֵבּנ פא ָכּ ֶמ .4
." ָהי ִר ָב ְדּ ע ַמ ְֶוּ ךָ ְמ ְצ ַע ףֹפ ְכּ ,ה ָנּ ַט ְר ךָ ְתּ ְֶ ֶא" :י" ֶֶ ַר .5
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