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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 2 - A | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Black 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 2 - A | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Cyan 280818_efi-ab - 280818_e
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 1 - Lesson 3 ו רמאמ - פֶּא ֶר ר ִר ִׁ

example, without any order of the books on his library shelf he וּא ָבוּ וּר ְשּׁ ַׁ ְת ֶה ְו ,גוּזּ ַה י ֵנ ְבּ פי ֵבּ בי ֶר וּלּ ֶפ ֲא ּא ח ַת ִמ הָי ָה ִֶ הרָָק
could not easily find the book he was looking for. But since this is
only intellectually logical to him, it is possible in certain situations י ֵד ְכּ ד ַע ה ָאי ֶב ְמּ ִֶ ה ָנ ָב ֲה י ֶא תּר ְר ֶל לוּל ָע( תי ֶד ָד ֲה ה ָנ ָב ֲה י ֵדי ֶל
that logic would tell him to ignore orderliness. I’ll bring a real ל ָכ ְכּ ר ֵה ַמ םי ֶל ְֶ ַה ְל ץ ָמ ֲא ַמ ל ָכּ תֹוֹש ֲע ַל ךְי ֶר ָצ ל ָב ֲא ,בי ֶר ְו ח ַת ִמ
example of this from everyday life. The husband is delving deeply
into his learning of a subject in Torah and wants to extract from the ל ִֶ תוּנ ְמּ ַדּ ְז ֶה ְבּ םי ֶֶ ָד ֳח ּא תּעוּב ֶָ רֹב ֲע ַכּ ה ֵנּ ֶה ְו .)ר ֶָ ְפ ִא ָה
text and his intellect a novel thought on that topic. He takes many וּמי ֶל ְֶ ֶה פ ַמ ְזּ ֶמ ר ָב ְכּ ִֶ ,בי ֶר ָה פַי ְנ ֶע ת ִא ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ה ָל ֲע ַמ ֶ ָד ָח ח ַת ִמ
books that he needs off his library shelf until a pile of books is
spread out on the table. At some point he turns to go to his Kollel י ֵׁ ַל ְכּ פ ַע ְטֶי ְו ה ִז ל ַע ֶי ֶא ָה ז ֵגּ ַר ְתֶי ל ַא ִֶ ל" ַז ַר וּנוּד ְמּ ֶל .וי ָל ָע
– and his wife asks him to clear off the books from the table and בי ֶר ָה ת ִא ה ָל ֲע ַמ ְתּ ַא ה ָמּ ָל ְו ,וּנ ְמ ַל ְֶ ֶה פ ַמ ְזּ ֶמ ר ָב ְכּ י ֵר ֲה - ּתּ ְֶ ֶא
put them back on the library shelf before he leaves. The husband תאֹז פי ֶב ָה ְל ר ֶָ ְפ ִא .ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ע ַב ִט וּה ִז י ֶכּ א ָנ ע ַדֵי א ָלּ ִא .ֶ ָד ָח ֵמ
attempts to explain to his wife that clearing off the table would be
wasting the time that could be better spent learning Torah, since ל ֵבּ ַר ְלוּ ר ֵשּׁ ַׁ ְת ֶה ְל פ ָכוּמ ל ִכ ֵשּׂ ַה .הּ ָל ְצ ִא ֶ ִג ִר ָה ת ַטי ֶל ְֶ ךְּתּ ֶמ
when he returns home he will need to take those same books off the ַע ֵדּי אוּה ְו ,ב ֵלּ ַבּ ה ָני ֶט רֹמ ְֶ ֶל יא ַד ְכּ אלֹּ ִֶ פי ֶב ָה ְל ם ַג ְו ,םי ֶר ֵבּ ְס ִה
shelf and start all over again. It is much more efficient to leave all
the books on the table and immediately resume his study when he ,י ֶפּס ּני ֵא סוּיּ ֶׁ ַה ם ַג ְו ,ר ֵה ַמ סֵיּ ַׁ ְת ֶמ ּני ֵא ֶ ִג ִר ָה ם ָלוּא .ר ֵתּ ַו ְל
returns. His wife is unfazed by his logic and asks him not to leave ר ֵרּע ְת ֶה ְל לוּל ָע ִֶ ֶ ִג ִר ָבּ אוּה ִֶ ל ָכּ ע ָר ְֶ ֶמ ר ָא ְֶ ֶנ ףּס ףּס י ֶכּ
the room disorderly. The husband sees his wife’s demand as a lack
of understanding regarding wasting precious learning time, and ֶאֹר ֵמ ה ִז ָל פ ָכוּמ אוּה - תאֹז ַע ֵדּי ל ַע ַבּ ַה ם ֶא .פ ַמ ְז רֹב ֲע ַכּ בוֶּ
that her insistence on putting away the books seems to him to be ל ַע סוּיּ ֶׁ ףי ֶסּמ א ָלּ ִא ,ה ִז ל ַע ז ֵגּ ַר ְת ֶמ ּני ֵא ם ַג ְו ,ע ָתּ ְפ ֻמ וּנּ ִני ֵא ְו
bothersome. But from her perspective the wife sees her husband’s
objection to cleaning them up as being inconsiderate of her feelings. .ּרוּׁ ֶס י ֵדי ֶל א ָבּ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ֶ ִג ִר ִֶ ד ַע ,תוּנ ָל ְב ַס ְבּ סוּיּ ֶׁ
She looks after the orderliness and cleanliness and beauty of her
home, and she sees him as being disrespectful of her. 

Here is an example of the tension that can develop in the
relationship between a husband and wife which evolves from a
lack understanding of the differences between them. The husband
must clearly understand that the orderliness and cleanliness of their
home is a top priority in the mind and feelings of his wife, and
so he should not try to persuade her with logical arguments why
he is right, rather he must understand her and be considerate of
her feelings. So too in any argument and attempt at persuasion
he must take into consideration her feelings and incorporate her
sensitivities into his response so that the feelings of his wife will
also be satisfied.

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