Page 88 - 280818

3

Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 3 - A | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Black 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 3 - A | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Cyan 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 3 - A | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Magenta #280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-a
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 2 - Lesson 2 ה רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ

him for approval.” Two things are implied; Her entire outlook ,בוֹר ָק ר ֵתוֹי דוּח ִי ְבּ ס ֵח ַי ְת ִה ְל ךְי ִר ָצ" פ ֵכ ָל ,בוּר ֵר ל ִֶ תוּס ֲחַי ְת ֶה
in doing what she does is directed to him – to be a help to him.
Also, she looks to him to sense from the look on his face and from ר ֵתוֹי תוּלּ ַק ְו תוּחי ִד ְבוּ .םוֹק ָמ וֹל א ָצ ְמ ִי אלֹ ד ָבּ ֻכ ְמ סוּח ִי ר ֶשׁ ֲא
his words an expression of his approval, that she is satisfying his ."דוֹב ָכּ ַה ת ַדּ ְר ֶח ְו שׁאֹר ד ֶבֹכּ ִמ בוּה ָא
needs. She achieves satisfaction and pleasure when she senses his
approval that she pleased him. Therefore, the husband must help ה ָלּ ַר ה ָרי ֶו ֲא ַל א ָלּ ִא ,ת ַע ַדּ ַה תוּלּ ַר ְל אי ֶה פ ָר ָמ ת ַנ ָוּ ַכּ פי ֵא ,ןָבוּמַּכּ
her so that she can fulfill her own aspirations to do the will of her
husband while being a helping life’s partner to him standing next ךְי ֶר ָצ .ֶאֹר ד ִבֹכ ְו ה ָחוּת ְמוּ ה ָד ֵב ְכּ ה ָרי ֶו ֲא ַל דוּגּ ֶנ ְבּ ,ה ָמי ֶע ְנוּ
to him, and he is obliged “to work and exert effort to show her ת ַכּ ְר ֶב ְבּ םי ֶכ ְר ָב ְמ וּנ ָא .ה ָח ְמֹ ֶש ל ִֶ ה ָרי ֶו ֲא תֶי ַבּ ַבּ תּר ְֶ ַה ְל
love and closeness,” the emphasis being on “to show her.” It is not
enough that in the depths of his heart she is endeared to him and he ה ָצי ֶדּ ה ָנּ ֶר ה ָלי ֶגּ ה ָלּ ַכ ְו פ ָת ָח ה ָח ְמֹ ֶש ְו פֹוֹשֹ ָש א ָר ָבּ ר ִֶ ֲא" םי ֶנ ָת ֲח
loves her, or he occasionally acknowledges his appreciation of her, ה ָב ֲה ַא רֹצּ ֶל י ֵד ְכּ ,רֹמא ֵל ."תוּע ֵר ְו םּל ֶָ ְו ה ָו ֲח ַא ְו ה ָב ֲה ַא ה ָו ְד ִח ְו
rather, each and every day he must demonstrate to her his love and
closeness because that specifically is the approval she deserves for אוּה ךְוּר ָבּ ֶּד ָקּ ַה א ָר ָבּ גוּזּ ַה י ֵנ ְבּ פי ֵבּ תוּע ֵר ְו םּל ֶָ ְו ה ָו ֲח ַא ְו
all of her constant desire to be his helping life’s partner. ל ֵדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ .ם ִהי ֵני ֵבּ ה ִר ְֶ ֶתּ ִֶ 'וּכ ְו ה ָח ְמֹ ֶש ְו פֹוֹשֹ ָש ל ִֶ ַחוּר
So too the author of the series of sefarim Kehilot Yaakov, the ,ה ָנֶּא ֶר ה ָנ ֶָ ְבּ דוּחֶי ְבוּ ,גוּזּ ַה י ֵנ ְבּ פי ֵבּ די ֶמ ָתּ ה ִר ְֶ ֶתּ ּז ַחוּר ִֶ
Steipler Gaon Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky ZT”L wrote to a י ֶכּ ,ל ַר ה ִז די ֶמ ָתּ אלֹ .תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ֶה ַה ְו תוּע ֵר ָה ת ִא ת ִר ִצּי אי ֶה י ֶכּ
young married man in Kollel “…as it is well known that the main
desire of a woman in her life is that she should have a husband who .תוּלּ ַקּ ַה ְו ה ָח ְמ ֶשּׂ ַה ַחוּר ת ִא םי ֶד ְגּנּ ִֶ ַחוּר י ֵב ְצּ ַמוּ םי ֶעוּר ֵא ֵֶי
loves her, yet when she sees that this is not so she is almost in a ַחוּר ְל די ֶמ ָתּ גֹא ְד ֶל ל ַע ַבּ ַה ל ַע ת ִל ִטּ ֻמ ַה ה ָדּב ֲע ָה י ֶהּז ,פ ֵכ ָא
life-threatening state from her great sorrow and anguish, that she
is like a lonely widow whose husband is alive .” The world of a םי ֶנ ָׁ ר ִב ֵס" 'ד פ ָמי ֶס 'ד ר ִר ִפ ְבּ פ ָלּ ַה ְל .תּפָי םי ֶנ ָׁ ר ִב ֵס ְלוּ ה ָבּט
7
woman is her husband who loves her, who encompasses all of her .'ה ת ַר ְז ִע ְבּ ה ִז פָי ְנ ֶע ְבּ רוּבּ ֶדּ ַה ת ִא בי ֶח ְר ַנ "תּפָי
hopes and yearnings, and if her husband does not demonstrate his
love to her, her world becomes darkened. Our great sages do not
exaggerate. If our Master the Steipler Gaon wrote “It is close to a 
life-threatening situation;” his words are to be understood literally,
as he knows this to be true from the life’s experiences of the people
who came to him for help. If the woman’s spirit is broken she falls
to depression and she becomes susceptible to all kinds of terrible
illnesses, G-d forbid.

Rebbe Yossi called his wife “My house” because she is the one who
builds the family and takes care of all of her family’s needs, the
biggest and the smallest. Her concern for the home is for the sake
of her husband so that he will feel good and be at peace within his

73 88