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Our Appa,

Appa was a gentle, kind-hearted, and soft-spoken man who we loved dearly. While he

was unable to recover from his lung condition, appa was a fighter until the very end.
Growing up I never really understood the sacrifices appa made to support our family.
Not until 2015 when I worked with appa at Howe leather could I appreciate how strong,
determined, and resolute appa was. I still remember coming home from my first day of
work physically tired and mentally drained. My feet were sore from standing up for the
whole 8 hours and my shoulders were in pain from the heavy lifting. At this point, I
reflected on how Appa for the past 10 years managed to do this physically strenuous job
despite his lung condition. Regardless of whether it was winter or summer, Appa would
wake up daily at 5am and go to work. As his condition deteriorated, he began taking his
oxygen cylinder to work. He never once considered taking a day off or contemplated
resigning from this job due to his condition.

In my own life, whenever I wake up feeling tired and my mind considers the idea of
taking a sick day, I always think, if Appa can go to work carrying an oxygen cylinder
then I have no excuse. It is Appa’s persevering, industrious, and hard-working
characteristics which I admire the most.

Following Appa’s passing, I have had time to reflect on our relationship. Since moving to
Canberra in 2016, appa has always been the first person I call whenever I need any
advice or tips around the house.

In February 2016, appa drove all the way to Canberra to help me assemble my bed and
dining table. There have been numerous times since then when I have called appa in a
panic because of a leak in the house or a car related problem. I always felt reassured
speaking to appa because he always knew what to do. Not having appa around to seek
his advice is something I will really miss. Similarly, appa’s willingness to help others
extends beyond his immediate family and friends. I recall the time back when I was in
primary school, when appa was asked to help a young Sai devotee who had recently
migrated from India to get his Driver’s License. Despite not knowing this man and
having the responsibilities to look after Loji and I, Appa without any hesitation agreed
to help. Not only did Appa teach this man how to drive, but once he had gained his
license Appa donated our spare car to him. This highlights the type of man appa was
and qualities I hope to emulate one day.

While we are all sad that Appa has passed sooner than we expected, I am comforted by
the fact that Appa lived a full life without any regrets and we were able to share so many
great memories with him. Like swami says, “death does not affect the atma, the atma
has no death. It cannot be destroyed. Therefore, one should not fear death. Death is but
another stage of life.”

-Sivamathuran Sivaraman
(Son of Sivaraman)

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நினைவு மலர் சிவராமை சிவபபிரகாசம ் P a g e | 15