Page 83 - Dinq Magazine August 2020 Edition

Kids/Parents Corner
Kids/Parents Corner

Why teens don’t listen to
Why teens don’t listen to
their parents...
their parents...

1. You’re doing a lot of talking, but your teenage child ing (let alone 24 years) if I didn’t control my urge to fix,
1. You’re doing a lot of talking, but your teenage child
ing (let alone 24 years) if I didn’t control my urge to fix,
doesn’t seem to be doing a lot of listening. And instead of correct, solve, and resolve every problem a student had.
doesn’t seem to be doing a lot of listening. And instead of
correct, solve, and resolve every problem a student had.
sharing your wisdom, it seems like you’re selling echoes. I Even with my own children, I learned that the less I tried
sharing your wisdom, it seems like you’re selling echoes. I
Even with my own children, I learned that the less I tried
feel your pain, because after successfully surviving the to “solve” their problems, the more they came to me
feel your pain, because after successfully surviving the
to “solve” their problems, the more they came to me
teenage years of my two children and educating high with their problems, seeking advice. And the key to your
teenage years of my two children and educating high
with their problems, seeking advice. And the key to your
school and college students for more than two decades, I children confiding in you and listening to you is this:
school and college students for more than two decades, I
children confiding in you and listening to you is this:
discovered 5 reasons for teens not listening to adults. 1. Never be shocked by what your teen tells you. You can’t
discovered 5 reasons for teens not listening to adults. 1.
Never be shocked by what your teen tells you. You can’t
Because we don’t listen to them. Teenagers will listen to change the outcome or undo it anyway. So instead, ask
Because we don’t listen to them. Teenagers will listen to
change the outcome or undo it anyway. So instead, ask
anyone who listens to them. Did you hear what I just non-judgmental questions. Trust me, they’ll listen to you
anyone who listens to them. Did you hear what I just
non-judgmental questions. Trust me, they’ll listen to you
said? They will listen to anyone who listens to them. Do more because you stayed calm and didn’t react the way
said? They will listen to anyone who listens to them. Do
more because you stayed calm and didn’t react the way
you realize how dangerous that is? But it’s they expected.
you realize how dangerous that is? But it’s
they expected.
true. For that reason alone, if you want
true. For that reason alone, if you want
your teenager to listen to you, start by 4. Because they’re hurting. Teenagers
your teenager to listen to you, start by
4. Because they’re hurting. Teenagers
listening to him or her. Because if you who are hurting but never get healing
listening to him or her. Because if you
who are hurting but never get healing
don’t listen to your teenagers, their friends for it can end up hurting themselves and
don’t listen to your teenagers, their friends
for it can end up hurting themselves and
will. And in turn, your teenager is going to others. And sometimes the only reason a
will. And in turn, your teenager is going to
others. And sometimes the only reason a
listen to them. And do you really want
listen to them. And do you really want teen refuses to listen is he or she is hurt-
teen refuses to listen is he or she is hurt-
your 14-yearold daughter taking advice ing and suffering in silence and just
your 14-yearold daughter taking advice
ing and suffering in silence and just
from a person who’s only had 14 years of
from a person who’s only had 14 years of doesn’t know how to express it. So, if
doesn’t know how to express it. So, if
life experience? I didn’t think so. you choose to ignore your teenager’s
life experience? I didn’t think so.
you choose to ignore your teenager’s
pain, your teenager is going to choose to
pain, your teenager is going to choose to
2. They question the source. As dads, we’re ignore you. 4 You don’t need to have an
2. They question the source. As dads, we’re
ignore you. 4 You don’t need to have an
pretty good at giving advice. Life has answer for your teen. You just need to
pretty good at giving advice. Life has
answer for your teen. You just need to
taught us many lessons, and we feel almost be ready to give him or her a safe place
taught us many lessons, and we feel almost
be ready to give him or her a safe place
obligated to pass that wisdom on to our Image source: Bill Corbett, to share his or her hurts with you. Don’t
obligated to pass that wisdom on to our
Image source: Bill Corbett,
to share his or her hurts with you. Don’t
children. But as noble as our intentions are, be a dad who just loves your children; be
children. But as noble as our intentions are,
be a dad who just loves your children; be
there’s one small problem: Teenagers don’t believe half a dad who listens to them with empathy.
there’s one small problem: Teenagers don’t believe half
a dad who listens to them with empathy.
the stuff we’re telling them. Why? Because, many times,
the stuff we’re telling them. Why? Because, many times,
we don’t always model what we’re teaching. In other 5. Because they’re afraid of becoming us. If you really want
we don’t always model what we’re teaching. In other
5. Because they’re afraid of becoming us. If you really want
words, we’re not practicing what we preach. “If you want to get your teen to listen to you, then simply become the
words, we’re not practicing what we preach. “If you want
to get your teen to listen to you, then simply become the
your teenagers to listen to you, never ask them to do any- kind of person you want your teen to become. Many teens
your teenagers to listen to you, never ask them to do any-
kind of person you want your teen to become. Many teens
thing you’re not willing to do yourself.” If you want your are secretly afraid that if they do what we do, listen to
thing you’re not willing to do yourself.” If you want your
are secretly afraid that if they do what we do, listen to
teenagers to listen to you, never ask them to do anything what we say, and follow the path we recommend, then
teenagers to listen to you, never ask them to do anything
what we say, and follow the path we recommend, then
you’re not willing to do yourself. Lead by your example, they eventually will end up at a destination they most want
you’re not willing to do yourself. Lead by your example,
they eventually will end up at a destination they most want
not by your explanations. It is said that “children don’t to avoid, called “boredom.” Their response: “Why listen
not by your explanations. It is said that “children don’t
hear what we say, but they watch what we do.” But I as- to avoid, called “boredom.” Their response: “Why listen
to you?” That’s why—to make sure your teen doesn’t tune
hear what we say, but they watch what we do.” But I as-
sert that if they see what we’re doing enough, they’ll even- to you?” That’s why—to make sure your teen doesn’t tune
you out—it’s important that you become the kind of per-
sert that if they see what we’re doing enough, they’ll even-
tually listen more to what we have to say. you out—it’s important that you become the kind of per-
son, in character and deed, who’s worth listening to. If you
tually listen more to what we have to say.
son, in character and deed, who’s worth listening to. If you
live your life in such a way that commands, not just de-
3. They’re afraid of being judged or disappointing us. When it live your life in such a way that commands, not just de-
mands, your teenager’s attention, you’ll never have to wor-
3. They’re afraid of being judged or disappointing us. When it
comes to raising teenagers, one of the toughest things to mands, your teenager’s attention, you’ll never have to wor-
ry about keeping his or her attention. Sound off: What are
comes to raising teenagers, one of the toughest things to ry about keeping his or her attention. Sound off: What are
learn when to keep your mouth shut. I must confess, some other reasons teens don’t listen to their parents?
learn when to keep your mouth shut. I must confess, some other reasons teens don’t listen to their parents?
when I first began my teaching career, this was difficult Source: All PRO DAD
when I first began my teaching career, this was difficult Source: All PRO DAD
for me. But I soon realized I wouldn’t last a year in teach-
for me. But I soon realized I wouldn’t last a year in teach-
DINQ MEGAZINE August 2020 STAY SAFE 83
DINQ MEGAZINE August 2020 STAY SAFE 83