Page 61 - Journey of Hope by Raymond Moldenhauer

DAY113

OUR WORLD JUST CRASHED

At 7:00 AM, I sent the e-mail that I have been longing to send for
over 100 days, announcing that Alyssa was going home. Kathie
and I left for Dupont at 9:00 in our pick-up truck to go and get Jim
and Heidi’s belongings that had been accumulated at the Ronald
McDonald House for the past three months.

While in the car, the song “Praise You In This Storm” came on
the radio. I had a very uneasy feeling come over me as I
listened to it. I didn’t want to relate to it any longer! Then, at
9:10 AM, I received this alarming text message from Heidi:

Not going home…Belly is big…X-ray tomorrow…Then Surgery.

At 9:10 AM our world just crashed! Light turned to darkness,
songs turned to silence, the wind became still, our minds
emptied, and I felt forsaken by God. I wept as I called Pastor Jeff
to ask him to send out e-mails that cancelled out everything I
had just written and sent.

It was one of the longest trips to Wilmington yet. It seemed
twice as far and three times as long to get there. We finally got
to the NICU just before 11:00 AM. The look on Heidi and Jim’s
faces were devastating.

We want to get off of this roller coaster, but we can’t.

It was a totally different baby that we looked at today. The
photos from the day before vanished from our minds. In less
than 24 hours she went from looking like a real newborn to Those who know your name will trust in you,
being a very lethargic baby that looked frail and sick. She now
had an IV in her head, a tube giving her oxygen taped to her for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who
face, a tube to her stomach to decompress the distention, and
all the monitor leads once again attached to her body. seek you. Psalm 9: 10