Page 64 - Journey of Hope by Raymond Moldenhauer

DAY115

FEELING HELPLESS

We all felt so helpless today. All we could do was to hold on to
the knowledge that God promised to be with us always – that we
are never alone.

At 2:00 AM on Saturday morning, Alyssa’s carbon dioxide rates
were rising to alarming levels. She was on the verge of
impending respiratory failure. The swelling in her abdomen
from the trauma of surgery (every inch of her intestines was
pulled out and examined) was not allowing her lungs to expand.
The care team switched her to a High Frequency Oscillating
Ventilator (HFOV) that would pump low volumes of oxygenated
air into her lungs at a very high rate (600 per minute) and
remove the buildup of carbon dioxide. The high frequency made
her entire body shake. The swelling of her body was most
evident in her head, turning her big eyes into little slits.

As we took turns today sitting near Alyssa, all we could do was
watch and look for any sign at all of improvement. God blessed
Heidi and Jim on several occasions, as they would place their
head near to her and softly call her name and she would briefly
open her eyes.

I waited for you today
But you didn't show,
I needed You today
So where did You go?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I’m never alone

“Never Alone” Barlow Girl