Page 76 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper - September 2021

76 Sasquatch Speaks!

Sasquatch Speaks: The

Truth Is Out There

By Richard Lei
The Reliable Source

Now it can be told: Bigfoot isn't real!

So says Bob Heironimus, a retired Pepsi bottler
from Yakima, Wash., who reveals to the Reliable
Source that he donned a gorilla costume and
appeared in the famous grainy film clip that
helped fuel the Bigfoot craze in 1967 and is
studied by Bigfoot, Sasquatch and Yeti
investigators to this day.

"It's time people knew it was a hoax,"
Heironimus told us. "It's time to let this thing go.
I've been burdened with this for 36 years, seeing Tom Malone, a lawyer in Minneapolis, called us without injuring others or breaking any laws in
the film clip on TV numerous times. Friday on behalf of Bob Gimlin, associate of the the process. After all, we can't have trigger-
Somebody's making lots of money off this, now-dead Bigfoot filmmaker. "I'm authorized to happy people firing shots at every hominid in
except for me. But that's not the issue -- the issue tell you that nobody wore a gorilla suit or Oklahoma—Tulsa native Garth Brooks could
is that it's time to finally let people know the monkey suit and that Mr. Gimlin's position is get hurt during a visit home.
truth." that it's absolutely false and untrue."
Humphrey would like to see the state promote
Heironimus, 63, makes his full "confession," as And the mystery lives on . . . [] the project by selling memorabilia and issuing
he calls it, in a just-published book by Bigfoot-spotting maps for visitors.
paranormal investigator Greg Long, "The
Making of Bigfoot." Long spent four years Bigfoot Bounty in Southeastern Oklahoma lies in the densely
investigating the 60-second film clip and the wooded Kiamichi Mountains, a range with
people behind it. He traces the shaggy Bigfoot Oklahoma: Get $2 Million plenty of leafy hiding spots for mythical beasts.
costume to a North Carolina gorilla suit Just For Capturing There are also a lot of fun outdoorsy things for
specialist, Philip Morris, who says he sold it for other primates to do.
$435 to an amateur documentary maker named Sasquatch There
Roger Patterson (who died in 1972). The hoax Attracting tourists, Humphrey told the
was staged near Bluff Creek in Northern newspaper, is his main goal with the Sasquatch
by Zack Thompson Quest.
California, according to Heironimus.

"Patterson was the cameraman," Long tells us. Here's your chance to solve a centuries-old “I hope people get here and ride four-wheelers
"They made a gentleman's agreement that Bob mystery and make millions—or at least spend a and do fishing and go to the restaurants and
would get in the suit and walk in front of the few pleasant days in the woods. sleep in motels,” he said. “Come to Oklahoma,
camera for $1,000." have an adventure. Enjoy yourself, tell your
Oklahoma lawmaker Justin Humphrey, a friends, and come back.”
But, Heironimus says, "I was never paid a dime member of the state's House of Representatives,
for that, no sir," and adds, "Sure I want to make introduced a bill back in January to establish a As for catching Bigfoot, unfortunately we don't
some money. I feel that after 36 years I should Bigfoot hunting season. The legislator's district have any useful tips to offer. But if we've learned
get some of it." in southeastern Oklahoma claims to rank among anything from Harry and the Hendersons, it's
the top 10 places for Sasquatch sightings. That's that the hardest part might be saying goodbye. []
Backers of the Bigfoot legend include one reason why the local town of Honobia hosts
primatologist Jane Goodall, who was in Silver an annual Bigfoot festival, scheduled to take
Spring last week to tout a new chimpanzee place this year on October 1 and 2.
documentary that premieres tomorrow on
Discovery Communications' Animal Planet Humphrey's proposed legislation, perhaps
network. Too busy to comment herself, Goodall unsurprisingly, died in committee.
authorized an aide, Nona Gandelman, to tell us
she has read "countless books" about Bigfoot, But according to Oklahoma's Enid News &
Sasquatch, Yeti, Chinese wild men and other Eagle newspaper, the idea caught the attention
creatures. "She's spoken to people whom she of the producers of an upcoming movie about
respects who say they have seen one of these the legendary apelike creature, and they, along
hominids," said Gandelman, "and to many other with a private donor, have agreed to offer a
people she respects who have heard strange calls reward totaling $2.1 million for the capture of a
they thought were made by Bigfoot. As a living, breathing Sasquatch.
scientist, she has a very open mind about this
and has yet to close the door on the possibility." Humphrey told the paper he's now working with
state tourism officials to issue tracking
Bigfoot researcher John Green, a retired permits—not, we repeat not hunting licenses—
Canadian journalist, says the book doesn't to those interested in participating in what
disprove the existence of the mysterious beast. Humphrey is calling "Sasquatch Quest."
"It's all [expletive]," he told us. "There are going
to be libel actions flying." Bigfoot must be brought in unharmed and