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others’. When we recall this slogan, Seeing all beings—friends, suffering and give happiness.
especially in undesirable situations, strangers, or enemies—as kind
we no longer blame others for what allows us to treat all with loving Traditional advice recommends
we experience. Instead, we reduce kindness and compassion, starting tonglen as a visualization
self-preoccupation and come to benefiting everyone. without breath, though I often
cherish rather than harm others, advise using the breath from
thus cultivating a heart at peace Lojong often incorporates the beginning to strengthen the
with others at all times. tonglen, a meditation in which meditation.
one breathes in others’ suffering
It’s said that lojong doesn’t and breathes out happiness. Based on teachings from my
require a secluded lifestyle, For someone already burdened teachers, I also advise an additional
monastic vows, or advanced by anxiety, depression, or visualization: when taking
study of Buddhist texts. So unresolved trauma, could suffering, imagine your mind of
how can a layperson—with tonglen risk intensifying self-cherishing at your heart as a
a busy career and family emotional distress by adding dense mass or dark rock. When you
commitments—benefit from others’ suffering to their own? breathe in suffering (visualized as
practicing lojong daily? thick, hot smoke), it descends to
Tonglen is a powerful practice and your heart center and destroys the
Lojong is ideal for lay practitioners can certainly be challenging for self-cherishing.
because it can be cultivated easily many. It involves taking in suffering
in daily life, based on transforming and giving away happiness, but it is For giving happiness, visualize a wish-
everything we encounter— advised to start with oneself before fulfilling jewel at your heart where the
favorable, unfavorable, or neutral— extending to others. “rock” was, filling it with bright light
into the path. representing all your happiness—
One of Geshe Chekawa’s slogans is wealth, body, possessions, merit, and
Another slogan from Geshe “You should begin by taking from so forth. When giving away happiness,
Chekawa that exemplifies this is yourself,” directing practitioners send out that brilliant light, which
“Meditate on the great kindness of to work with their own suffering instantly becomes the cause for both
all beings.” Reflecting on this slogan before advancing to others. temporal and ultimate happiness for
throughout the day helps us see whoever is the object of your tonglen.
kindness everywhere. In tonglen meditation, you hold
a more objective view of yourself After completely removing suffering
Kindness here includes not only and your suffering, then cultivate and giving total happiness, take a
intentional kindness from friends the wish to remove your anxiety, moment to rejoice in your deed.
and family but also “unintended depression, and so on. You breathe This joyful enthusiasm strengthens
kindness,” as His Holiness the in that suffering, taking it upon your courage and commitment
Dalai Lama calls it, from strangers yourself, then generate loving to continue on the path to
and even difficult people or kindness and send out what enlightenment to benefit all beings.
enemies. Strangers are kind brings both temporal and ultimate
because of all they do behind the happiness, placing yourself If a practitioner finds tonglen
scenes: producing the food we eventually in a state of perfect too emotionally intense at
eat, the clothes we wear, and so well-being. first, would you recommend
forth. Difficult people give us the starting with other practices,
unintended kindness of helping Once familiar with this, you can such as loving-kindness (mettā)
deepen our patience and resilience, gradually extend tonglen to others, meditation or self-compassion
essential parts of spiritual training. increasing your capacity to take on meditation?