Page 40 - EH69

38 EASTERN HORIZON | FACE TO FACE

future, full of hope and fear. Each In your book, you also clinging, that tunnel vision opens
moment is perfect, just as it is, and mentioned helpful suggestions into a more panoramic view. We
the only way we can experience for dealing with depression, then understand that all of us suffer,
happiness is in the present moment. anxiety, grief and trauma, and and can develop lovingkindness and
for navigating life’s challenges compassion for ourselves and all
Therapy is not just about with mindfulness, love and beings.
talking about the past, as many compassion. If mindfulness is
incorrectly assume. Rather, the objective non-judgement, how In one of your writings, you
psychotherapist’s goal is to work does one then cultivate love and mentioned that you applied the
with the client in the here and now, compassion which tends to be Four Noble truths, a core Buddhist
while both therapist and client more emotional and subjective? teaching, to overcome suffering
observe how past experiences when you had chronic pain. Isn’t
inform the present moment. The love and compassion that the teachings of the Buddha
Psychotherapy works best when mindfulness and Buddhism talk meant more for overcoming
the past is re-experienced in about is limitless and boundless. It mental suffering rather than
the present, in a safe and non- is not limited to a choice few, but physical suffering? Can you share
judgmental space. It is not about to all beings. Reciting The Four your experience with us?
just talking about the past, but Immeasurables, the four boundless
feeling the accompanying body positive qualities of equanimity There is a well-worn adage “Pain is
sensations and emotions as fully (upekkhā), lovingkindness inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
as possible, and experiencing (mettā), compassion (karuṇā), My chronic pain has offered a
the energy and dynamics of the and sympathetic joy (muditā), valuable opportunity to work to
relationship between the therapist helps us cultivate non-judgmental, separate my mental suffering from
and client. limitless compassion. Equanimity the direct physical sensations of
is the foundation for seeing each pain. In other words, honing in on
As the client-therapist relationship moment freshly, with non-judgment. the physical sensations, such as
grows, and the client is able to This accords with Jon Kabat- burning or throbbing in the location
trust the therapist to maintain Zinn’s definition of mindfulness of my pain becomes the object of
a safe environment, the client as “awareness that arises through my meditation. Mental suffering
can re-experience the past more paying attention, on purpose, arises when I stray from the direct
fully, and can then learn from and in the present moment, non- experience of those feelings into my
heal past wounds and transform judgmentally, in the service of self- thoughts about the pain, whether
the present. Many of my clients understanding and wisdom.” With self-pity, fear or myriad other
who have experienced trauma equanimity as the foundation, our negative thoughts. The Buddha
feel so unsafe that experiencing emotional and subjective clinging is calls this “shooting ourselves with
life moment to moment seems dissolved, and the boundless states the second arrow.” The first arrow
impossible for them. They hide of lovingkindness, compassion is the pain, which is inevitable,
behind the stories they have told and sympathetic joy can flourish, and the second arrow is all the
themselves that they are not worthy becoming available to ourselves and associated negative thoughts, which
of love, or that the traumas they all beings with exception. are optional. Being able to separate
have endured are their fault. As my pain from suffering has brought
we work to disarm those negative Furthermore, many clients with me great relief.
self-beliefs, the client is more able depression have tunnel vision, just
to experience each present moment thinking about their own troubles, When I bemoan the perceived
more fully, heightening their ability and that no one suffers like they injustice of having a chronic pain
to experience true happiness. do. As we begin to let go of our ego- condition, I am shooting myself with