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36 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS
BUDDHIST PARENTING SERIES
BRINGING DHAMMA INTO
FAMILY LIFE
By Sumi Loundon Kim
I once asked a university Miller confirms that a positive,
psychologist which undergraduates active relationship to spirituality
survived crisis better, be it the in childhood significantly reduces
onset of debilitating depression, depression, substance abuse, and
addiction, a car accident, or death risky behavior in the teen years.
in the family: those who’d grown Moreover, childhood spiritual
up with a spiritual path, or those development lays an essential
who didn’t? Without hesitation he foundation for resilience, character,
said that students with a spiritually identity formation, healthy
grounded childhood, whether they relationships, and flourishing in
continued with that or not as young adulthood. 1
adults, not only got through their
crisis but also personally grew from Many of us intuit that our children
Rev. Sumi Loundon Kim is it. He said that these students had will get through life’s difficulties—
the Buddhist chaplain at a language to articulate what they disappointment, illness, and loss—if
Duke University and minister were facing—a framework to create we ensure that they have certain
for the Mindful Families of meaning from their experience. abilities. And we hope not only that
they’ll be resilient but also that
Durham. She has published
When I picture dropping my over the years they will develop
two anthologies, Blue Jean
children off at college some into mature, loving, and thoughtful
Buddha: Voices of Young
years from now, I reflect on this people who give back to the world.
Buddhists and The Buddha’s
psychologist’s observation. No However, these skills—such as
Apprentices: More Voices of Young longer in my direct care, my son self-reflection, finding meaning and
Buddhists. Following a master’s and daughter will need to navigate purpose, clarifying values, and living
degree in Buddhist studies and choices and challenges on their from wisdom and compassion—
Sanskrit from the Harvard own. What can I do for them now aren’t necessarily taught in school.
Divinity School, she was the that increases the likelihood they Sometimes, in trying to instill these
associate director for the Barre will not only survive but also thrive? in our children, we discover that
Center for Buddhist Studies in Perhaps one life skill, beyond we ourselves could benefit from
Barre, Massachusetts. She lives in teaching them how to drive, look spiritual development. Or, we find
Durham, North Carolina, with her after their health, or manage money, that we no longer agree with our
husband and two children. is the gift of spiritual fluency. childhood tradition, but we have
Indeed, in groundbreaking research, little with which to replace it.
Columbia University professor Lisa
1 Lisa Miller, The Spiritual Child: The New Science on Parenting for Health and Lifelong
Thriving (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2015).
