Page 111 - It Ends with Us

lean ed over a little an d pressed hi s lips ag ai nst my collar bone, right between my

sho ulde r an d my neck. It was a quick kiss an d I do n’t thi nk he mean t for it to
be roman tic. It was more like a than k-you gesture, witho ut using ac tual words .
Bu t it made me feel al l kinds of thi ngs. It’s been a few ho urs now an d I keep
touchi ng that spot with my fingers becau se I can still feel it.
I know it was probab ly the worst day of hi s life, Ellen. Bu t it was one of my
fav orites.

I feel real ly bad ab out that .
We wat che d Find ing Nem o an d whe n that par t cam e up where Mar lin
was looking for Ne mo an d he was feeling real ly de feat ed, Dor y sai d to hi m,
“Whe n life gets you do wn do you wan na know what you’ve gotta do ? . . . Just
keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming,
swimming.”
Atlas grab bed my han d whe n Dor y sai d that . He di dn ’t ho ld it like a

boyfriend ho lds hi s girlfriend’s han d. He squeezed it, like he was say ing that
was us. He was Mar lin an d I was Dor y, an d I was he lping hi m swim.
“Just keep swimming,” I whi spered to hi m.
—Li ly

Dear Ellen,
I’m scared. So scared.
I like hi m a lot. He’s al l I thi nk ab out whe n we’re togethe r an d I feel wor ried
sick ab out hi m whe n we’re not. My life is beginning to revolve around hi m an d
that ’s not good, I know. Bu t I can ’t he lp it an d I do n’t know what to do ab out
it, an d now he might leav e.
He left af ter we finishe d wat chi ng Find ing Nem o yesterday an d the n whe n

my parents went to bed, he craw led in my windo w las t night . He had slept in
my bed the night before becau se he was sick, an d I know I sho uldn ’t hav e do ne
it, but I put hi s blan kets in the was hi ng mac hi ne right before I went to bed. He
as ked whe re hi s pal let was an d I told hi m he ’d hav e to sleep on the bed ag ai n
becau se I wan ted to was h hi s blan kets an d mak e sure the y were clean so he
wouldn ’t get sick ag ai n.

For a minute, it looked like he was going to go bac k out the windo w. Bu t
the n he shu t it an d took of f hi s sho es an d craw led in the bed with me.
He was n’t sick an ymore, but whe n he lai d do wn I tho ught may be I had
gotten sick becau se my stomac h felt queas y. Bu t I was n’t sick. I just al way s feel
queas y whe n he ’s that close to me.