Page 280 - It Ends with Us

when he was at hi s worst. Five minu tes of witnes sing hi m at hi s worst

couldn’t make up for ev en fiv e yea rs of hi m at hi s bes t.
I look at Emers on and I look at R yle. And I kno w tha t I ha ve to do
wha t’s bes t for her. For the rel ations hi p I ho pe she builds with her
father. I don’t make thi s dec ision for me and I don’t make it for R yle.
I make it for her.
“R yle?”

When he glanc es at me, he’s smiling . But when he asses ses the look
on my face, he stops.
“I want a divorce. ”
He blink s twice. My words hi t hi m like voltage. He winc es and looks
back down at our daught er, hi s sho ulders hu nc hed for ward. “Lily,” he
says, sha king hi s hea d back and forth. “Plea se don’t do thi s.”
His voice is pleading , and I ha te tha t he’s been ho lding on to ho pe

tha t I would ev ent ually take hi m back. Tha t’s partly my fault, I kno w,
but I don’t thi nk I rea lized wha t cho ice I was going to make unt il I
hel d my daught er for the firs t time.
“Just one more cha nc e, Lily. Pleas e.” His voice cracks with tea rs
when he spea ks.
I kno w I’m hu rting hi m at the worst possible time. I’m brea king hi s

hea rt when thi s sho uld be the bes t moment of hi s life. But I kno w if I
don’t do it in thi s moment , I might nev er be able to conv inc e hi m of
why I can’t risk taking hi m back.
I beg in to cry bec ause thi s is hu rting me as much as it’s hu rting
hi m. “R yle, ” I say gent ly. “Wh at would you do? If one of thes e days,
thi s little girl looked up at you and she said, ‘Daddy ? My boyfriend hi t
me.’ Wha t would you say to her, R yle?”

He pulls Emers on to hi s ches t and buries hi s face agains t the top of
her blank et . “Stop, Lily,” he beg s.
I push mysel f up straight er on the bed . I place my hand on
Emers on’s back and try to get R yle to look me in the ey es . “Wha t if
she came to you and said, ‘Daddy ? My hu sban d pushe d me do wn the stai rs.
He sai d it was an ac cide nt. What sho uld I do ?’ ”

His sho ulders beg in to sha ke, and for the firs t time sinc e the day I
met hi m, he ha s tea rs. Rea l tea rs tha t rush down hi s cheek s as he
ho lds his daught er tight ly agains t hi m. I’m crying , too, but I keep
going . For he r sake.