Page 31 - It Ends with Us

He looked do wn at the ground agai n, an d I felt hi s embar ras sment in my

own stomac h. He di dn ’t even nod. He just followed me inside my ho use an d
never sai d a word.
The who le time he was in the sho wer, I was pan icking. I kept looking out the
windo w an d che cking for eithe r of my parents’ car s, even tho ugh I knew it
would be a good ho ur before the y got ho me. I was ner vous one of the neighb ors
might hav e seen hi m come inside , but the y di dn ’t real ly know me well enough to

thi nk hav ing a visitor would be ab normal .
I had given Atlas a chan ge of clothe s, an d knew he not only neede d to be
out of the ho use whe n my parents got ho me, but he neede d to be far aw ay from
our ho use. I’m sure my fat he r would recognize hi s own clothe s on some ran do m
teenag er in the neighb orho od.
In between looking out the windo w an d che cking the clock, I was filling up
one of my old bac kpac ks with stuf f. Food that di dn ’t need refrigerat ing, a

couple of my fat he r’s T-shi r ts, a pai r of jean s that were probab ly going to be two
sizes too big for hi m, an d a chan ge of socks.
I was zipping up the bac kpac k whe n he emerged from the hal lway.
I was right . Even wet, I could tell hi s hai r was light er than it looked ear lier.
It made hi s eyes look even bluer.
He must hav e shav ed whi le he was in the re becau se he looked younger than

he di d before he got in the sho wer. I swal lowed an d looked bac k do wn at the
bac kpac k, becau se I was sho cked at ho w di f ferent he looked. I was scared he
might see my tho ught s written ac ross my fac e.
I looked out the windo w one more time an d han de d hi m the bac kpac k. “You
might wan t to go out the bac k do or so no one sees you.”
He took the bac kpac k from me an d stared at my fac e for a minute. “What ’s
your nam e?” he sai d as he slung the pac k over hi s sho ulde r.

“Li ly.”
He smiled. It was the first time he ’d smiled at me an d I had an aw ful,
shal low tho ught in that moment. I wonde red ho w someone with such a great
smile could hav e such shi tty parents. I immedi at ely hat ed myself for thi nking it,
becau se of course parents sho uld love the ir kids no mat ter ho w cute or ugly or
skinny or fat or smar t or stupid the y are. Bu t sometimes you can ’t control whe re

your mind goes. You just hav e to trai n it not to go the re an ymore.
He he ld out hi s han d an d sai d, “I’m Atlas .”
“I know,” I sai d, witho ut shak ing hi s han d. I do n’t know why I di dn ’t
shak e hi s han d. It was n’t becau se I was scared to touch hi m. I mean , I was