Page 42 - Jeremiah Lollipop

“BANG! They were off.

The granddads tore down the field, some running easily, others

wheezing and puffing. One motored along in an electric wheelchair,

another used a scooter, but he went flying as the wheels dug into the

soil. The judges gave them all a score for Mobility.

Finally they reached their grandkids and out came the sweets and

money, toys and tickets to movies. The scores for generosity popped up

on the big display screen.

Now the granddads moved into the Versatility section. They were

scored for their sense of humor, age of their jokes, ability to piggyback

and roll about on the ground, hug, and different ways to stretch their

jerseys.

Then came the Pain test, as each granddad was subjected to eye-

poking, leg-kicking, pinching, pulling, punching, scratching and all the

usual blows and thumps that grandkids inflict on grandparents during an

average day.

Some of the granddads had given up and were returning to the dressing

rooms. Some of the grandkids were jeering at them, and throwing

tomato sauce sachets.

The top scoring granddads stood in a line, battered, bruised,

disheveled, with torn clothes and food splashes, and completely out of

money, as the final scores were read out, and the stadium erupted with

cheers and whistles. A large, gold cup was given to the winner, and he