Page 117 - Essentials of Human Communication

96 ChaPter 5 Nonverbal Messages

Skill DeveloPmeNt exPerieNCe

Using Nonverbal impression management Strategies

Now that you’ve read about how nonverbal messages may help you manage impressions, consider how you
would manage yourself nonverbally in the following situations. For each of these situations, indicate (a) the
impressions you’d want to create (e.g., an image as a hardworking self-starter); (b) the nonverbal cues you’d use
Messages are a to create these impressions; and (c) the nonverbal cues you’d be especially careful to avoid.
combination of verbal
and nonverbal signals; 1. You want a job at a conservative, prestigious law firm and are meeting your prospective boss for your first
face-to-face interview.
even subtle variations in, 2. You want a part in a movie in which you’d play a homeless drug addict.
say, eye movements or 3. You’re single and you’re applying to adopt a child.
intonation can drastically 4. You want to ask another student to go out with you.
change the impression 5. You want to convince your romantic partner that you did not see your ex last night; you were
communicated. working.

Communication your relationship is tied together (Goffman, 1967; Afifi & Johnson, 2005; Knapp &
Choice Point Hall, 2009). Tie signs are also used to confirm the level of the relationship; for example,
communicating you might hold hands to see if this is responded to positively. And of course tie signs
closeness are often used to let others know that the two of you are tied together.
How would you go about Tie signs vary in intimacy and may extend from the relatively informal hand-
increasing the intimacy of a relationship shake through more intimate forms, such as hand holding and arm linking, to very
nonverbally in face-to-face communication? intimate contact, such as full mouth kissing (Andersen, 2004).
Lacking nonverbal signals, how would you do it
on a social network site such as MySpace or
Facebook?
NONverbal Messages structure cONversatION
When you’re in conversation, you give and receive cues—signals that you’re ready to
speak, to listen, to comment on what the speaker just said. These cues regulate and structure
the interaction. These turn-taking cues may be verbal (as when you say, “What do you
think?” and thereby give the speaking turn over to the listener). Most often, however, they’re
nonverbal; a nod of the head in the direction of someone else, for example, signals that you’re
ready to give up your speaking turn and want this other person to say something. You also
show that you’re listening and that you want the conversation to continue (or that you’re not
listening and want the conversation to end) largely through nonverbal signals of posture and
eye contact (or the lack thereof).

NONverbal Messages caN INFlueNce aND DeceIve
You can influence others not only through what you say but also through your nonverbal sig-
nals. A focused glance that says you’re committed; gestures that further explain what you’re
saying; appropriate dress that says, “I’ll easily fit in with this organization”—these are just a
few examples of ways in which you can exert nonverbal influence.
And with the ability to influence, of course, comes the ability to deceive—to mislead
another person into thinking something is true when it’s false or that something is false when
it’s true. One common example of nonverbal deception is using your eyes and facial expres-
For additional reasons why sions to communicate a liking for other people when you’re really interested only in gaining
identifying lying is so difficult,
see “Deception Detection” at their support in some endeavor. Not surprisingly, you also use nonverbal signals to detect
tcbdevito.blogspot.com. Based deception in others. For example, you may well suspect a person of lying if he or she avoids
on your own deception detection eye contact, fidgets, and conveys inconsistent verbal and nonverbal messages.
experiences, do you agree/disagree But be careful. Research shows that it is much more difficult to tell when someone is
with what is said here? lying than you probably think it is. So, use caution in judging deception (Knapp, 2008).