Page 172 - Essentials of Human Communication

Theories of Interpersonal Communication and Relationships 151

CommunICAtIng ethICAlly

Relationship ethics

A starting place for considering the ethical issues and guidelines that operate within a friendship or romantic,
family, or workplace relationship can be identified with the acronym ETHICS: empathy (Cheney & Tompkins,
1987), talk (rather than force), honesty (Krebs, 1989), interaction management, confidentiality, and supportive-
ness (Johannesen, 2001).
● empathy: People in relationships have an ethical obligation to empathize with their relationship part-
ners.
● Talk: Decisions in a relationship should be arrived at by talk rather than by force—by persuasion, not
coercion. ethical Choice point
● Honesty: Relationship communication should be honest and truthful. A neighbor, with whom you’re gen-
● interaction management: Relationship communication should be satisfying and comfortable and is erally friendly, repeatedly wants you
the responsibility of all individuals. to listen to everything she did
during the day—a kind of Twitter
● Confidentiality: People have a right to expect that what they say in close relationships will not be
revealed to others. monologue. You just don’t want to
do this anymore. What is your ethi-
● Supportiveness: A supportive and cooperative climate should characterize the interpersonal interac- cal obligation in this case—to your
tions of people in relationships. neighbor as well as to yourself?

assumption here is that if people are in a close romantic relationship then they Communication
should follow these rules: Choice point
● acknowledge each other’s individual identities and lives beyond the relationship. virtual infidelity
● express similar attitudes, beliefs, values, and interests. Although in a monogamous
relationship for the past 15 years, you have
● enhance each other’s self-worth and self-esteem. established romantic relationships online
● be open, genuine, and authentic with each other. and you suspect your partner has as well.
● remain loyal and faithful to each other. Now, it’s causing you anxiety and you want
to come clean but not give up these online
● have substantial shared time together. affairs. In your ideal world, what are some of
● reap rewards commensurate with their investments relative to the other party. the rules you would like to see you and your
● experience a mysterious and inexplicable “magic” in each other’s presence. partner establish for online relationships?

Family Rules Family communication research also points to the importance of rules in
defining and maintaining the family (Galvin, Bylund, & Brommel, 2007). Like the rules of
friends and lovers, family rules tell you which behaviors will be rewarded (and therefore what Watch the Video
you should do) and which will be punished (what you should not do). Rules also provide a “Please Don’t Lie to Me” at
kind of structure that defines the family as a cohesive unit and that distinguishes it from MyCommunicationLab
other similar families. Family rules encompass three main interpersonal communication is-
sues (Satir, 1983):
● What can you talk about? Can you talk about the family finances? Grandpa’s drinking?
Your sister’s lifestyle?
● How can you talk about something? Can you joke about your brother’s disability? Can
you address directly questions of family history and family skeletons?
● To whom can you talk? Can you talk openly to extended family members such as cousins
and aunts and uncles? Can you talk to close neighbors about family health issues?

Workplace Rules Rules also govern your workplace relationships. These rules are usually
a part of the corporate culture that an employee would learn from observing other employees
(especially those who move up the hierarchy) as well as from official memos on dress, sexual