Page 173 - Essentials of Human Communication

152 ChApteR 7 Interpersonal Relationships

harassment, and the like. Of course, each organization will have different rules, so it’s impor-
tant to see what rules are operating in any given situation. These are among the rules that you
might find:

● Work very hard.
● Be cooperative in teams; the good of the company comes first.
● Don’t reveal company policies and plans to workers at competing firms.
For a discussion of politeness as a
relationship theory, see “Politeness ● Don’t form romantic relationships with other workers.
as an Interpersonal Relationship ● Avoid even the hint of sexual harassment.
Theory” at tcbdevito.blogspot
.com. What role does politeness
play in your own relationships?
SOCial exChange anD equity theORy
Social exchange theory claims that you develop relationships that will enable you to maxi-
mize your profits (Thibaut & Kelley, 1986; Stafford, 2008)—a theory based on an economic
model of profits and losses. And, although the theory was formulated before social media,
you’ll see that it applies equally well to Facebook and Google+ relationships, for example. The
theory begins with a simple equation: Profits = Rewards – Costs. Rewards are anything that
you would incur costs to obtain. Research has identified six types of rewards in a relationship:
money, status, love, information, goods, and services (Baron, Branscombe, & Byrne, 2009).
For example, to get the reward of money, you might have to work rather than play. To earn
(the status of) an A in an interpersonal communication course, you might have to write a term
paper or study more than you want to.
Costs are things that you normally try to avoid, that you consider unpleasant or difficult.
Examples might include working overtime, washing dishes and ironing clothes, watching
your partner’s favorite television show that you find boring, or doing favors for those you
dislike.
Equity theory uses the ideas of social exchange but goes a step farther and claims that
you develop and maintain relationships in which the ratio of your rewards relative to your
costs is approximately equal to your partner’s (Walster, Walster, & Berscheid, 1978; Messick
& Cook, 1983; Stafford, 2008). For example, if you and a friend start a business and you put
up two-thirds of the money and your friend puts up one-third, equity would demand that
you get two-thirds of the profits and your friend get one-third. An equitable relationship,
then, is simply one in which each party derives rewards that are proportional to their costs.
If you contribute more to the relationship than your partner, then equity requires that you
should get greater rewards. If you both work equally hard, then equity demands that you

SkIll DeVelopment expeRIenCe

Analyzing Interpersonal Relationships in the media

Interpersonal relationships, as they’re expressed in the popular media, provide an interesting perspective on
the ways in which our culture views relationships and on the principles of relationship communication it
teaches. Think of all the media you’re exposed to throughout an average day and consider the messages you
are receiving about relationships. Look at the media in any form—television (in dramas, sitcoms, commercials,
Becoming mindful of talk shows, reality shows), newspapers, magazines, blogs, websites, music, and film—and try to identify the val-
what the media teach ues and attitudes they communicate about interpersonal relationships. Think about these examples:
and how they do it will
help you to avoid ● Do the popular media approve of certain types of relationships and not others?
internalizing ● How do the media “define” friendship, love, and family?
relationship values ● What do the media say about the rules for relationships?
before examining them ● How do the media deal with the dark side of interpersonal relationships, such as relationship violence
critically. and spousal abuse?