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Theories of Interpersonal Communication and Relationships 149

● Be positive about your current position. Complaining about your job online for all to see
is likely to make management less positive toward you and also to lead prospective em-
ployers to see you as a complainer and someone who would be critical of the new
organization as well.
● Avoid revealing any negative work habits or discussing inappropriate workplace
behavior—even if (especially if) you think it’s funny.
● Use the Friends List or the Google+ Circles to distinguish the people you want to see cer-
tain information and those you wouldn’t. But, remember, again, that anyone who receives
your message can post it to anyone, even those you’d rather not see it.
● Give your social network profile even more attention than you give to dressing up for a
long-anticipated face-to-face date. After all, a lot more people are going to see your online
profile than the way you dressed for a date.
● Keep your posts (at least on Facebook and Google+) personal and informative. Avoid
promoting any commercial enterprise.
● Poke and tag in moderation. Learn first the norms of the group with which you’re com-
municating.
● Avoid asking to be friends with anyone you think may have difficulty with your seeing
their more personal side.

Objectives Self-Check
● Can you define friendship, love, family, workplace, and online-only relationships?
● Can you explain their varied types?

theories of Interpersonal Communication

and Relationships

Several theories offer insight into why and how people develop and dissolve relationships.
Here we’ll examine three such theories: attraction, relationship rules, and social exchange and
equity.

attRaCtiOn theORy
Attraction theory holds that people form relationships on the basis of attraction. You are no For a seldom discussed view on at-
doubt drawn, or attracted, to some people and not attracted to others. In a similar way, some traction, see “Facial Attraction” at
people are attracted to you and some are not. If you’re like most people, you’re attracted to tcbdevito.blogspot.com. Does
others on the basis of five major factors: this all seem logical?

● Physical attractiveness and personality: It’s easily appreciated that people like physically at-
tractive people more than they like physically unattractive people. What isn’t so obvious
is that we also feel a greater sense of familiarity with more attractive people than with less Explore the Exercise
attractive people; that is, we’re more likely to think we’ve met a person before if that per- “Mate Preferences: I Prefer
son is attractive (Monin, 2003). Additionally, you probably tend to like people who have a Someone Who . . .” at
MyCommunicationLab
pleasant rather than an unpleasant personality, although people differ on what is an at-
tractive personality to them and what isn’t. The fact that different people find different
personality characteristics attractive, that there does seem to be someone for everyone,
may be a comforting thought.
● Similarity: According to the principle of similarity, if you could construct your mate, it’s
likely that your mate would look, act, and think very much like you (Burleson, Samter, &
Luccetti, 1992; Burleson, Kunkel, & Birch, 1994). Generally, people like those who are sim-
ilar to them in nationality, race, abilities, physical characteristics, intelligence, and attitudes
(Pornpitakpan, 2003). Sometimes people are attracted to their opposites, in a pattern