Page 54 - Essentials of Human Communication

Self-Disclosure 33

Self-DISClOSure DAngerS
There are some dangers related to self-disclosure :

● Personal risks. The more you reveal about yourself to others, the more areas of your life
you expose to possible attack. Especially in the competitive context of work (or even ro-
mance), the more that others know about you, the more they’ll be able to use against you.
● Relationship risks. Even in close and long-lasting relationships, self-disclosure can cause For a discussion of the factors
problems. Parents, normally the most supportive people in most individuals’ lives, fre- influencing self-disclosure, see
quently reject children who self-disclose their homosexuality, their plans to marry some- “Self-Disclosure Influences” at
one of a different race, or their belief in another faith. Your best friends—your closest inti- tcbdevito.blogspot.com. What
mates—may reject you for similar self-disclosures. other factors do you see influenc-
● Professional risks. Sometimes self-disclosure may result in professional or material ing your own self-disclosures?
losses. Politicians who disclose that they have been in therapy may lose the support of
their own political party and find that voters are unwilling to vote for them. Students
who disclose their alcohol or drug behavior in Facebook photos or posts may Communication
discover that jobs are more difficult to find or they may even be fired from an Choice point
existing position.
regulating
Remember that self-disclosure, like any other communication, is irreversible. Self-Disclosure
You cannot self-disclose and then take it back. Nor can you erase the inferences You’re currently engaged to
listeners make on the basis of your disclosures. Remember, too, to examine the re- Kerry, but over the past few months you’ve
wards and dangers of self-disclosure in light of cultural rules. As with all cultural been seeing someone else and have fallen
rules, following rules about self-disclosure brings approval, and violating them in love. Now you want to break off your
brings disapproval. engagement and disclose this new
relationship. But you don’t want to hurt
Kerry. What are some of your choices? What
guIDelIneS fOr MAkIng Self-DISClOSureS would you say? Through what channel?
In addition to weighing the potential rewards and dangers of self-disclosure, consider the fol-
lowing suggestions, which should help you raise the right questions before you make what
must be your own decision. Additional suggestions that apply especially to the workplace are
identified in Table 2.1.

● Consider the motivation for the self-disclosure. Self-disclosure should be motivated by a con-
cern for the relationship, for the others involved, and for yourself. Self-disclosure should
serve a useful and productive function for all persons involved. Self-disclosing past indis-
cretions because you want to clear the air and be honest may be worthwhile; disclosing the
same indiscretions to hurt your partner, however, is likely to damage the relationship.

TaBLe 2.1 Self-Disclosure Cautions in the workplace
Self-disclosure in the workplace involves somewhat different considerations from face-to-face disclosure with a friend, for
example. Here are a few suggested cautions and comments.

Cautions Comments
Assume that your disclosure will be repeated. Although it may not be, assuming it will be, will give you a useful “what if”
perspective.
Realize that your disclosure may be used This seems especially true if you’re in a highly competitive organization; includes
against you. the relatively innocent office joking to the more serious issues of promotion and
bonuses.
Realize that disclosure very often leads to a Assess whether you’re willing to give up some of the power you have when people
loss of power. are not quite sure about you.
Understand that disclosure of a disability is Whether or not you disclose a disability is entirely your decision, according to the
your decision. U.S. Department of Labor’s Office of Disability Employment Policy.
Realize that one colleague’s disclosure does Although reciprocating is a natural tendency, you are not required to also self-
not obligate you to disclose. disclose—but you may be missing a great opportunity to connect with a colleague.