Page 76 - Essentials of Human Communication

Listening Barriers 55

CommuniCating ethiCaLLy

ethical Listening

As a listener you have at least two ethical obligations (generally):
● You owe the other person an honest hearing, without prejudgment, putting aside prejudices and preconcep-
tions as best you can. At the same time, you owe the person your best effort at understanding emotionally as
well as intellectually what he or she means. This does not mean, however, that there are not situations when ethical Choice point
you don’t owe the speaker a fair hearing.
● You owe the other person honest responses. Just as you should be honest with the listener when speaking, Your partner of ten years has
you should be honest with the speaker when listening. This means giving open and honest feedback and also decided to come clean about a
reflecting honestly on the questions that the speaker raises. Again, this does not mean that there are not situa- sordid past, essentially the ten years
tions in which you would not owe the speaker an honest response. before you met. You really don’t
want to hear this (it just depresses
These obligations, as you might have guessed, will vary with the relationship between yourself and the you) but your partner insists on
other person. If this “other person” is a life partner, then your obligations are considerable. If this “other person” self-disclosing. What is your ethical
is a stranger, your obligations are less. Generally, as the intimacy of a relationship increases, so do your obliga- obligation to both your partner and
tions to serve as a supportive and honest listener. to yourself?

Objectives Self-check
● Can you define listening and its five stages (receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating,
and responding)?
● Can you apply the skills for more effective listening recommended for each of these stages?

Listening Barriers
Explore the Exercise
In addition to practicing the various skills for each stage of listening, consider some of the “Your Listening Barriers”
common barriers to listening. Here are four such barriers and some suggestions for dealing at MyCommunicationLab
with them as both listener and speaker, because both speaker and listener are responsible for
effective listening. As you read this, consider the barriers that arise in listening in the class-
room, a topic also discussed in Table 3.2.

diStRActiOnS: PhySicAL And MentAL
Physical barriers might include hearing impairment, a noisy environment, or loud music.
Multitasking(for example, trying to watch TV and listen to someone at the same time) with Explore the Exercise
the aim of being supportive simply doesn’t work. As both listener and speaker, try to remove “Sequential Listening”
whatever physical barriers can be removed; for those that you can’t remove, adjust your lis- at MyCommunicationLab
tening and speaking to lessen the effects as much as possible. As a listener, focus on the
speaker; you can attend to the room and the other people later.
Mental distractions too get in the way of focused listening. These barriers may Communication
take the form of thinking about your upcoming Saturday night date or becoming too Choice point
emotional to think (and listen) clearly. When listening, recognize that you can think hate Speech
about your date or other distracting thoughts later. In speaking, make what you say Your work colleagues in
compelling and relevant to the listener. neighboring cubicles regularly use deroga-
tory racial terms. You really don’t want to
listen to this and want to protest this kind of
biASeS And PRejudiceS talk. At the same time, however, you don’t
In biased and prejudiced listening, you hear what the speaker is saying through want to alienate people you’re going to
stereotypes. This type of listening occurs when you listen differently to a person have to work with for some time. What are
because of his or her race, affectional orientation, age, or gender when these char- some of the things you can say to register your
acteristics are irrelevant to the message. protest (cooperatively)?