Page 75 - Essentials of Human Communication

54 Chapter 3 Listening in Human Communication

● Unite the new with the old; relate new information to what you already know. Avoid
treating new information as totally apart from all else you know. There’s probably some
relationship and if you identify it, you’re more like to remember the new material.
● Repeat names and key concepts to yourself or, if appropriate, aloud. By repeating the
names or key concepts, you in effect rehearse these names and concepts, and as a result
they’ll be easier to learn and remember. If you’re introduced to Alice, you’ll stand a better
chance of remembering her name if you say, “Hi, Alice” than if you say just “Hi.”

evALuAting
Evaluating consists of judging the messages you hear. At times you may try to evaluate the
speaker’s underlying intent, often without much conscious awareness. For example, Elaine
tells you she is up for a promotion and is really excited about it. You may then try to judge
her intention. Does she want you to use your influence with the company president? Is she
preoccupied with the possible promotion and therefore telling everyone? Is she looking for a
pat on the back? Generally, if you know a person well, you will be able to identify his or her
intention and respond appropriately.
In other situations, your evaluation may be more like critical analysis. For example, in a
business meeting on upgrading office equipment, you would evaluate the office manager’s
proposals while listening to them. As you listen, you’d be asking yourself, “Are the propos-
als practical? Will they increase productivity? What is the evidence? Are there more practi-
cal alternatives?” Follow these three steps to make the evaluation stage of listening more
effective:
● Resist evaluating until you fully understand the speaker’s point of view.
● Assume that the speaker is a person of goodwill and give the speaker the benefit of any
doubt by asking for clarification on issues you object to (e.g., are there any other reasons
for accepting this new proposal?).
● Distinguish facts from opinions and personal interpretations and identify any biases,
self-interests, or prejudices that may lead the speaker to slant unfairly what is presented.

ReSPOnding
Responding occurs in two forms: (1) responses you make while the speaker is talking and
(2) responses you make after the speaker has stopped talking. Responses made while the
speaker is talking should be supportive and should acknowledge that you’re listening.
Take a look at “e-mail responding” These responses are called backchanneling cues—messages (words and gestures) that let
at tcbdevito.blogspot.com for the speaker know you’re paying attention, as when you nod in agreement or say, “I see” or
a list of reasons people may not “Uh-huh.”
respond to an email—even Responses after the speaker has stopped talking are generally more elaborate and might
though you expect one. include empathy (“I know how you must feel”); requests for clarification (“Do you mean this
new health plan will replace the old plan, or will it only be a supplement?”); challenges (“I
think your evidence is weak”); and/or agreement (“You’re absolutely right, and I’ll support
your proposal when it comes up for a vote”). You can improve this responding phase of lis-
tening by following these suggestions:

● Express support and understanding for the speaker throughout the conversation.
Communication
Choice point ● Use varied backchanneling cues (for example, nodding, using appropriate facial
Listening cues expressions, or saying “I see”) that tell the speaker that you’re listening.
Friends have told you that ● Own your own responses; that is, state your thoughts and feelings as your
people don’t address comments directly to own, using I-messages—for example, saying, “I don’t agree” rather than “No
you because you don’t give listening cues to one will agree with that.”
let the other person know that you’re listening ● Avoid the common problem-causing listening responses, such as being static or
and interested. What are some of the things overly expressive, giving feedback that is monotonous and not responsive to the
you can do to help change this perception?
messages, avoiding eye contact, or appearing preoccupied with, say, a cell phone.