Page 55 - Cornice Grade 8

Jokes
Humorous Piece
What rock group consists of
four famous men, but none of
them sing?
The faces on Mount Rushmore!
***
A turtle is crossing the road
when he’s mugged by two
snails. When the police show
up, they ask him what hap-
pened. The shaken turtle re-
plies, “I don’t know. It all hap- The guy is flabbergasted. He
pened so fast.”
***
Two hunters are out in the
woods when one of them col-
lapses. He’s not breathing and
his eyes are glazed. The other
guy whips out his cell phone
and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he
yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down.
First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s silence, then a shot.
Back on the phone, the guy
says, “OK, now what?”
***
l Aakarsh Shrestha l
A guy spots a sign outside a The taxi driver replies, “Oh
house that reads “Talking Dog that’s my village I own it”
for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks
in. Some time later, they drive
closer to the village, and when
“So what have you done with they reach near the village a
your life?” he asks the dog. marvelous building comes into
sight, and the foreigner says,
“I’ve led a very full life,” says “Such a beautiful home! I wish
the dog. “I lived in the Alps res- I lived there.”
cuing avalanche victims. Then I
served my country in Iraq. And The taxi driver replies, “That’s
now I spend my days reading my house! I live there.”
to the residents of a retirement
home.” Some time later, they reach the
village and get out of the car.
The foreigner sees a beautiful
asks the dog’s owner, “Why on woman entertaining the kids
earth would you want to get rid outside the beautiful house and
of an incredible dog like that?” the foreigner says,“Such a love-
ly young woman, and adorable
The owner says, “Because kids.”
he’s a liar! He never did any of
that!” The taxi driver replies, “Oh
she’s my wife and those are my
children.”
*** Then, a young man comes out
of the house, kisses the woman
The easiest time to add insult and plays with the kids. The for-
to injury is when you’re signing eigner asks the taxi driver,“Hey
somebody’s cast. who is that person kissing your
wife and playing with your
Once there was a foreigner vis- kids?”
iting Nepal. He got into the taxi
and told the taxi driver to give The taxi driver replies, “Oh
him a tour of the city. When that’s me!”
they reached a big and beau-
tiful village the foreigner says
“Oh wow! Such a beautiful vil-
lage!”
***