Page 148 - The Circle of Life

If you cannot settle the matter it becomes a normal defended private (civil law)

case as we discussed in the beginning. It will cost you tens of thousands if not
hundreds of thousands dollars and five years of your time. It is never worth it.

The media

It is human nature to want to know what happened in a messy divorce as details
comes out in court (another reason to settle) which may be hugely entertaining
to the public if humiliating to the party or the children and family. Thus,

traditionally, South African law and also in many other countries the media is

strictly forbidden to publish details of a divorce. Legally this is not defendable
anymore as the foreign press is not subjected to this law and with the Internet

and social media it is impossible to stop publication. There is also the freedom of
speech issues and thus this law is not strictly followed. It happens quite often

that one of the parties release a statement to clear the air so to speak.

Why only they will know for it always backfires and is always bad advice. You

will never be able to manipulate the media and is opening yourself for ridicule
without gaining anything. Nothing! We don't have juries to influence and our

Judges (South African ones at least) cannot be influenced for they are genuinely
not corrupt. Besides cowboys don't cry in public! Making a fool of yourself is your

choice though. Don't expect me to stand anywhere close to you when that
happens.

Playing with the media in the middle of the case is plain silly and if you have to

say something be non-committal and say what you want after the trial. Each to
his own though. If you feel the need to do so then carry on by all means for

each individual case is different. Just remember in Africa we respect grey hair.
That cute (and very smart) girl woman who acts as your spokeswoman will

never have the same effect as the portly grey haired elder with a serious face. It
is the way it is and yes I agree wrong. It is however the African way and our

ways is not your ways.

Annulment of a marriage

Annulment is a legal process and the effect is that the "marriage" never

happened. Usually we talk of the marriage being "null and void" or just "void."

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