Page 51 - DIVA_2_2007_No.29

DIVA's Diplomatic Bag
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AMBASSADRESS

Te c h n o I o g i c a 11 y [n my case to a coffee conimitments back at the messed up his, booking.

Impaired Husband morning to organise a Residence, I iventuany Wrong day. ;pn standby
decides to lend Rather charity event designed to exited stage leff allowing for tomorrow's dawn
Important House Guest bring the entire commu- them to splutter on about flight He was, however,
his state-of-the-art alarm nity to a grinding lialt my defection in peace. greatly looking forward
clock (set alarm hand to around next Christmas. J to shanng our lunch.
hour required, pull out find tnyself on a three- As I fell througli my front
bet-
button, grope wildly and seater sofa wedged dooi', I ran straight into Metno to self: mtist start
thump button to halt buz- ween Mrs. Boring in the arms of our house serving sogg)t pasta and
zer,) so that R.I.H.G does- lavender and Ms. guest. Apparently he had burnt coffee.
n't miss his very early Politically Engag6e in not slept a wink because
flight back home. T.I.H. boots intent on looking at he was terrified the alarm
proceeds to s]eep soundly the svtder picture (world might not go off. Risixig
until 4 a.m. wlien he sud- poverty, greenhouse en'iis- before dawn, he had
denly falls out of bed and sions, myopic agricultural paced his room until the
hurls himself at the house policies, the fur trade, seal driver arrived to coJlect
phone to call guest and clul+l+ing, you must know him for the airport. It was
make sure the alarm has who I mean ...). There is on]y upon arrival that he
gone off. something about three- realised his secretary had
It has. seater sofas.
They just do not
work, in my
T.I.H. then falls back into
deep refreshing slumber opinion. At some
stage you ai;e
whilst I mentally plan my
wardrobe, menus, flowers obliged to ttirnr
your back on one
and conversational gam-
bits for the upcoming or other of your
neighbours yet
diplomatic week, finally
sliding into a fitful doze never, n'iore's the
just as the dawn has stop- pity, are you able
to turn your
ped chorusing. Around
6.45 he snaps all the lights back on botli of
on again to check witli his them simulta-
wtist watch tliat he has neously. You can,
xiot overslept without his howeyer, lean
beloved alarm clock by back and allow
his side. them to carry on
He has not. their eOllVerSa-
tion over the top
Thisfime I mentany write of you whffst you
all the thank-you Jetters I succumb to an
should have written by attack of the ter-
minal yawns.
last Friday and store up a Not
shopping list for the cook. even the

Sur deeply demanding soggy biscuit and
tqtellectual pursuits leave two cups of Cona

tne suff?cientJy exhausted coffee, which I
to finally fail into a coma suspect had been
at 7.58, leaving me preci- bubb}ing merrily
sely two minutes of obJi- away for three
days in anticipa-
vion before the 8 o'clock
news blasts us both into tion of our visit,
could help, so
the new day, raring to go.
pleading urgent