Page 177 - swanns-way
P. 177

may be, cruel. Of course, since my aunt’s strength, which
         was completely drained by the slightest exertion, returned
         but drop by drop into the pool of her repose, the reservoir
         was very slow in filling, and months would go by before she
         reached that surplus which other people use up in their dai-
         ly activities, but which she had no idea—and could never
         decide how to employ. And I have no doubt that then—just
         as a desire to have her potatoes served with béchamel sauce,
         for a change, would be formed, ultimately, from the plea-
         sure she found in the daily reappearance of those mashed
         potatoes  of  which  she  was  never  ‘tired’—she  would  ex-
         tract from the accumulation of those monotonous days (on
         which she so much depended) a keen expectation of some
         domestic cataclysm, instantaneous in its happening, but vi-
         olent enough to compel her to put into effect, once for all,
         one of those changes which she knew would be beneficial
         to her health, but to which she could never make up her
         mind without some such stimulus. She was genuinely fond
         of us; she would have enjoyed the long luxury of weeping
         for our untimely decease; coming at a moment when she
         felt ‘well’ and was not in a perspiration, the news that the
         house was being destroyed by a fire, in which all the rest
         of us had already perished, a fire which, in a little while,
         would not leave one stone standing upon another, but from
         which she herself would still have plenty of time to escape
         without undue haste, provided that she rose at once from
         her bed, must often have haunted her dreams, as a prospect
         which  combined  with  the  two  minor  advantages  of  let-
         ting her taste the full savour of her affection for us in long

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