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There are still many questions to be answered and asked about romantic love. The question that
I'm working on right this minute is, why do you fall in love with one person, rather than another? I
never would have even thought to think of this, but I've spent the last three years on this. And
there are many reasons that you fall in love with one person rather than another, that
psychologists can tell you. We tend to fall in love with somebody from the same socioeconomic
background, the same general level of intelligence, of good looks, the same religious values.
Your childhood certainly plays a role, but nobody knows how. That's about it, that's all they
know. No, they've never found the way two personalities fit together to make a good
relationship.

Women tend to get intimacy
differently than men do. Women get
intimacy from face-to-face talking.

We swivel towards each other, we
do what we call the "anchoring
gaze" and we talk. This is intimacy to
women.

I think it comes from millions of years
of holding that baby in front of your
face, cajoling it, reprimanding it,
educating it with words.

Men tend to get intimacy from side-by-side doing. As
soon as one guy looks up, the other guy will look away.

I think it comes from millions of years sitting behind the
bush, looking straight ahead, trying to hit that buffalo on
the head with a rock. I think, for millions of years, men
faced their enemies, they sat side-by-side with friends.
Love is in us. It's deeply embedded in the brain.
Our challenge is to understand each other.

Long-term attachment is different from
early-stage love neurologically.

Fisher and other researchers distinguish
between these successive phases of love
for a good reason — in terms of both
behaviour and brain activity, they look
somewhat different.

Her fMRI studies of couples who'd been
happily married for decades found that,
when they looked at photos each other,
activity increased in brain areas distinct
from those identified in the study of new ;^ŚƵƩĞƌƐƚŽĐŬ͘ĐŽŵͿ
lovers. Activity was elevated in the VTA —
just like in new lovers — but also the ventral pallidum, an area associated with maternal
attachment in animal studies.