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Love is perhaps more easily described by what it is not.

Love is not fear, hurt, pain, jealousy, bitterness, hate, separateness, lust, attachment,
aggressiveness, ego-centeredness, indifference, possessiveness, suppression - the list goes on.

Love can be perceived more easily through the effects that it creates. We cannot see the wind,
but we can see its effects, such as the leaves moving, branches swaying, or the sound of air
rushing.

What then are the effects of love?

Love creates feelings of unity. We feel toward others as we feel towards ourselves. We are as
interested in their welfare, happiness, success, health and spiritual growth as much as we are
about our own.

Loving others means wanting them to be happy in whatever ways they are guided to their
happiness. Love encourages understanding, compassion, forgiveness, happiness, excitement,
peace, joy, fulfilment and a desire to be helpful in any way we can.

Love is the ability to let go of our self-interest and personal needs enough to really hear and
understand the other’s needs and interests. It means caring enough to sacrifice, when
necessary, our own pleasures and desires when the other’s needs are more important.

Our basic nature is love. However, our ignorance, mistrust, fear and attachment have buried it
so deeply within us that it is sometimes difficult to find or maintain.

Loving others steadily, in spite of their behaviour, is not easy.

Love Is NOT Need

We often use the word love when we really mean, "need". We say, "I love you." But, if we analyse
ourselves deeply, we may come to realize we really mean, "I need you."

This is not the highest form of love. It is love mixed with need, attachment and addiction. If it
were love in the purest sense and the other was happier by leaving us or even happier with
someone else, we would be happy for him or her, not full of sadness for ourselves. Loving others
means wanting them to be happy, healthy and successful in the ways that they are guided to
be.

Love does not create the pain we feel when someone leaves us or rejects us. That pain is
generated by our dependency upon that person for our security, pleasure or affirmation.

Needs and attachments create fear, pain and suffering. Love creates happiness, fulfilment and
the experience of our True Selves

NEEDING -vs– WANTING

Never has it been more relevant to understand the difference between NEED and WANT than in
the area of love.

The way people use these two terms can lead one to perceive that these two have similar
meanings, if not mean absolutely just the same thing. But actually, these two terminologies are
very different from each other, with very difference consequences in love.