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Differences Between Loving Someone & Being In Love

It’s hard to tell the difference between loving someone and being in love with them, especially if
love is new to you. Loving someone can feel just as passionate, and consuming as being in love,
but it’s quite different. If you’re waiting for magic and those butterflies in your love life, it’s
important to be able to recognize the differences. If you’ve ever broken up with someone you
initially thought was The One, you’ll definitely be able to relate to this list. Here are a few
examples of how loving someone is different from being in love with them.

LOVING SOMEONE IS A CHOICEYOU MAKE, BEING IN LOVE ISN’T
You can make a choice to love someone. You can decide you will see their best qualities,
appreciate them for who they are, and be a supportive partner to them. You can also choose
to stop loving that person, to walk away and forget about them. Being in love is not a choice.
It’s something that can happen without your intention or consent, and it’s not something you
can walk away from easily. If you leave, you’ll take the feeling of being in love with you.

LOVING SOMEONE MEANS WANTING THEM TO DO WELL, BEING IN LOVE MEANS ALWAYS PUTTING
THEM FIRST
Of course you want your beloved to do well, but are you actually prepared to make the
sacrifices necessary to make that happen? When you’re in love, you put each other’s needs first
because your happiness is linked to theirs. Maybe he contributes a little extra for rent while you
get through your studies, or maybe you take extra morning walks with the dog because he loves
to have a lie-in. When you put each other’s needs first, you accomplish more than when
everyone’s fending for themselves.

LOVING SOMEONE CAN BE FLEETING, BEING IN LOVE IS FOREVER
Love can end at any moment. He can do something annoying, or you get in a bad fight, or
you’re kind of in a state, then WHAM. You don’t love him anymore. Being in love isn’t that fickle.
It stays through the fights, the lulls, and the full blown crisis. When the honeymoon phase is over
and life gets a little more routine, only the relationship where you are actually in love will be a
happy one. You don’t need constant excitement, because your feelings are real without it.

LOVING SOMEONE MEANS NEEDING THEM AROUND, BEING IN LOVE MEANS NEEDING THEM TO BE
WHERE THEY ARE HAPPY
When you love someone, you always want them to be around. You crave them. You want them
to be with you more than anything. When you are in love, you want them to have a happy
balanced life, which means sometimes spending time away from you, giving them valuable
‘You-Time’. You want them to have time out with their friends, or alone time, or time to pursue
some hobbies without you. Being happy doesn’t equal being together all the time.

LOVING SOMEONE IS A RUSH, BEING IN LOVE IS STEADY STREAM OF EMOTIONS
Loving someone can be the greatest high, but it can also come with lows. Being in love is a
steadier stream of happiness, but it’s more overall happiness in the long run. The roller coaster of
loving someone can never last, and bad lows can be devastating. The intensity of the highs and
lows is why so many people mistake loving with being in love, but the real deal will never make
you feel like you are crashing and burning.

LOVING SOMEONE IS ABOUT HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL, BEING IN LOVE IS ABOUT HOW YOU
MAKE THEM FEEL
When asked why they love someone a popular answer is, “Because they make me feel good.”
That’s ok, but if it’s all about how you feel, then you probably aren’t actually in love. Loving
someone means you are only concerned with how he makes you feel loved, special, or
appreciated. Being in love means you want to make him feel loved as well, because that’s as
important to you.