Page 28 - December 2022

aware that there were some stuck places in
me that I couldn’t quite grasp. I wanted to

bring someone in who could reflect this
back. I thought there were just some little

bitty pieces that I absolutely couldn’t see
or get my mind around — my internal
“story” was too fixed. So, I married again.

Well, I wasn’t with him very long when I
realized I still had a lot of work to do.

He was OCD and a perfectionist so when
I did something that he disapproved of,

he would just bitch and bitch, and bitch
at me, until I found my entire being

filled with rage. As my insides raged, it
occurred to me that I was insanely livid.
If I had been big enough and strong

enough to beat up a 6’2” man (to my 5’,) I
would have beaten ripped his face off and

beaten him into a bloody pulp.

Finally, it connected in my mind! Oh my

God! That’s exactly what I had done to
my first husband! The poor man did not

do things as I wanted them done, so I was
determined to change him. I bitched, and
bitched, and bitched, pushing every button

in the poor man until he as filled with
this insane rage (Moon in Aries): I was

experiencing what I had been doing to him.
That connection brought the necessary
release and the longed-for forgiveness.

It became pretty obvious that it was my

pattern because even though my second
marriage wasn’t physically violent (Moon until he deserted me, first emotionally,
in Gemini), he too, was not the man I then physically. I began to see how I set up

wanted him to be, so I bitched at him circumstances so that I could be a victim.
28 myindigosun.com