Page 11 - November2022

collusion. We marry our parents and had an issue with as he had high ideals
our unfinished business with them related to what should be happening in

gets projected onto our relationships. the city by public officials.
Our partners have to live out the

parts of us that are like them that we However due to the intense polarization,
cannot come to terms with inside all I saw in my parents’ relationship to
ourselves. Often marriages become each other was how horrible my Dad was.

a reenactment of these old wounds. Many people see only opposites in their
As I said in my previous article, Jung parents, not realizing both are actually a lot

says it is not the conscious mind that alike because of the compensatory nature
falls in love; it is the unconscious of the psyche. What is conscious in one
that makes this decision. We will parent will be unconscious in the other and

only attract and become fascinated vice versa. Some people say their parents
by people who carry our energy, never had disagreements. That only shows

our complexes and can fulfill this that they kept a lot hidden to maintain the
evolutionary task with us. peace and were probably in denial even
about themselves as no one is always in

It’s truly remarkable how this perfect harmony.
repetition compulsion happens

to everyone. This is the dance of If these shadow traits are not passed
opposites – what I call “the Shadow down to the conscious part of the psyche,
Dance.” We need each other to do then they will remain in the unconscious.

this dance otherwise we would have Often a child’s shadow is formed from
to be BOTH our light and dark sides. these split-off parental imagos. Jung

Keep in mind that when I say “dark,” says that children are highly susceptible
I mean what is hidden from us in our to picking We will only
personal unconscious. This is not to up and living

be confused with archetypal evil and their parents’ attract and become
toxicity in relating. unlived lives; fascinated by

their opposites. people who carry
My Dad was also popular, humorous Therefore, our energy, our
and loved to tell jokes and make us looking at our

laugh. He was a typical outgoing, parents and their complexes and
larger-than-life Leo character. relationship to can fulfill this

Sometimes he was outspoken in the each other, and evolutionary task
community and would voice his to us, is helpful to with us.
views or write letters to whomever he get clear on our

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