Page 9 - November2022

Well, guess what? We’re like both of A nursery rhyme expresses this idea
them, and we are especially like the really well:
one we didn’t want to be anything like! Jack Sprat could eat no fat.

The other parent is more acceptable His wife could eat no lean.
because most likely we can identify with

them and often have similar energy To demonstrate this, I will share my
(archetypes). own story. When I was growing up,
it was easy to identify my Dad as the

This tension of opposites personalized “bad one” and my Mom as the “good
by our parental imagos gets constellated one.” My Dad, being a Leo, was very

early on in everyone’s environment. Leonine — very self-centered, egotistical,
What is happening in most families is domineering and bossy. At the same
that one parent will take “the The parent we time, he embodied

good one” role and the other numerous positive Leo
parent will be “the bad one.” couldn’t stand the traits — entertaining,

There is an unconscious most is the one who’s magnanimous, and
collusion between them. more dominant in idealistic. My Mom was
The word ‘collusion’ comes our unconscious. a Scorpio. As his polar

from the Latin word for opposite, my Mom was
“play together” and refers very quiet, kind and

to acting in unison toward some secret gentle. I admired the fact that she was
purpose. This collusion, if perpetuated very giving of herself and would go out
can become a form of abuse. of her way to help others. Conversely,

she was also very much a martyr and
Both parties of any relationship enter complainer acquiescing to whatever it

into an unconscious agreement that goes was that my father wanted. Still, in my
something like this: “I’ll be your good mind she was good, and he was bad.
side, if you’ll be my bad side. I’ll be the

strong one, if you’ll be the weak one or Until I studied astrology, I was unable
I’ll be the responsible partner, if you’ll to recognize my Mom’s dark side. By

carry all the carefree and playful parts so learning about the negative traits*
I can see you as irresponsible. Another of Scorpios, I was able to see how
common one is I’ll be serious, gloomy, sometimes she would manipulate my

and pessimistic and you can be optimistic Dad into being the bad one. She would
and overly ‘Pollyanna’ (the always happy do things covertly to irritate him and

child) while refusing to look at any of our he would get really angry with her. For
real issues. Partners will polarize and take instance, he would say, “Don’t do this
opposite sides of any extreme. or that.” Then, she would do whatever it

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