Page 43 - Mindfulness Meets Emotional Awareness Sample Book

Sometimes, if we have tried to find a healthy voice for our
anger but were not heard and our feelings not validated, or
indeed if we have experienced oppression at the hands of
others, even though our actions demonstrated an appropriate
and healthy attitude, then the message we will have learned in
association with the expression of healthy anger will be one of
pointlessness and futility.

There is a direct relationship between both suppression and
oppression of healthy anger and an inner state of despair.

For others whilst they may not have experienced anger or
aggression badly, they may simply not have had any kind of
role model that demonstrated how to integrate and use this
emotion helpfully. It is entirely possible to grow up in an
environment of such benign passivity that by its absence a
clear message is given: ‘Any form of anger is completely
unacceptable’

In the last chapter, I drew a diagram that highlighted the
kinds of behavior that are typical of guilt and shame from two
ends of a spectrum. To use these emotions to good effect, the
healthy position needs to be somewhere in the middle, a state
of balance where emotions are recognized, valued and acted
upon from a position of mindful awareness.

We can use a similar diagram to enable us to identify how we
perceive and manage our anger and aggression. Diagram 2 at
the end of this chapter highlights some of the challenges faced
with two ends of a spectrum in mind.

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Mindfulness Meets Emotional Awareness
©Jenny Florence/Burgess A-Z of Emotional Health Ltd 2016 All rights reserved.