Page 44 - Mindfulness Meets Emotional Awareness Sample Book

P. 44

Suppression and dissociation from these powerful feelings are
at one end of a line, with a complete inability to contain our
anger and aggression at the other. Ironically enough the
outcome of the behavior that we see at both ends of this
spectrum will often result in reinforcing the same underlying,
ongoing difficulties.

Both create responses from others which compound a lack of
entitlement and an inability to feel heard, creating even more
frustration and anger!

At one end of the spectrum, when we suppress our anger or
direct it inwardly at ourselves we actively stifle any kind of
healthy self-expression. Unable to have a voice that creates
any impact in our world, our inner sense of personal
entitlement and our capacity to be considerate of ourselves
and engage in a life of healthy, protective self-care is
continually undermined. This fuels self-doubt, reinforces a
lack of confidence and has a significant long-term impact on
our self-esteem; indeed, certain types of depression are
associated with an inability to be in touch with and express
any form of appropriate, healthy, self-respecting anger.

At the other end of the spectrum, when our anger is directed
outwardly, spilling over in an uncontrolled manner, we also
end up sabotaging our opportunity to be heard and
responded to.

One of the most common problems that very angry people
experience is the fact that no one ever actually hears what
they’re trying to say, even when they have a valid point. All
people experience and see is the excessive anger.

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