Page 4 - Scripts

4.

RENATO
(CHUCKLES)
Yep, still single, still waiting
for that special someone who
deserves me.

HOLLY
Ha! You didn’t drink! That’s a
penalty! You have to down a shot
and I still get to tweet for you.

RENATO
This was not explained to me!

HOLLY
Drink! Drink! Drink!

Renato downs a shot of whiskey and fusses, while Holly types.
The response comes up on the screen:

-- I AM IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS. I LOVE JESUS,
HE FILLS ME UP. JESUS IS MY MEXICAN GARDENER FYI --

RENATO
Mother of -

HOLLY
Next! Okay, Josh from Beverley,
York, asks, ‘How did you know which
agency was right for you?’

RENATO
I got this!
(downs a shot of tequila)
Gah! Whe-where’s the salt, the
lemon?

HOLLY
None of that, none of that.

RENATO
God damn it. Okay, okay, you
typing? Yeah? Yeah? Good, good. So.
I submitted my book to a shit-ton
of agencies b-but I went with Dark
Horse Nancy Publications ‘cause
when I showed up for my meeting the
lady there said, ‘who the hell are
you?’, and I was like, ‘I wrote
Monastery dumbass’, and she was
like, ‘Get the fuck out, no way you
wrote that amazing book, you look
like an underwear model’.
(LAUGHS)
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